Tuesday, October 21, 2008

good grief

Three weeks ago Gabriel comes home telling me that this girl from the Latin American Chamber of Commerce who is originally from Honduras wanted to have us over for Honduran food when she found out I was a missionary there. Ok. Then it began. The creeping fear of meeting strangers and not knowing what to say to them and wanting to not do it and wanting to be told I didn't have to do it. A few weeks went by and Gabriel said he needed to confirm with this girl for friday because she was planning it for us and another couple. I said fine hoping someone would get the flu or something.
Thursday comes along...this past thursday the 16th... and I had had a difficult day feeling under appreciated in my world and wishing that I had a new shiny blackberry like Gabriel and new shiny clothes like my kids and new shiny skin like my kids and time to run on a treadmill like Gabriel and new shiny amazingness like everyone seems to have when you're looking around and not close up enough to realize that everyone isn't blissfully thrilled to be doing what they're doing. Anyway, I had a breakdown lying in my bed after all these random feelings of self-woe and I said to Gabriel, (while weeping) "Please just don't make me go eat pupusas with those peopuuuhuhuhuuulllll!"
Gabriel then promised he would hold my hand the whole time and every minute over 45 that we were there he would give me $10.

as any enterprising young woman would be, I was fine with that.

Friday came and my parents had the girls and we set off to the avenues to meet strangers and pretend we love them and their house and everything they make to eat and say to us like you're supposed to when you meet strangers.
We get out of the car on a dark deserted street and walk up to a dark seemingly deserted house and knock on the door which opens with no one visibly opening it.
Upon crossing the threshold the roaring screams of "SUUURPPRRRIIIISSSSEEEE! happy birthday!!!" fly to my ears....
tears.
tears, people.
tears of relief, tears of happy, tears of glad, tears of how could I not have realized I was outside my friend Marsha's house when we drove up. just tears.
Gabriel is so nice he put together a little thing for my birthday almost two weeks before my birthday thus allaying any suspicion that anyone would be thinking about my birthday at all. I wasn't even thinking about my birthday, only dinner with strangers.
but there they were....my little friends from a window of my life that I loved in college and who continue to be my dearest folks.
There was a chocolate fountain.
There was a replica of the red velvet cake from my wedding 5 years ago that I never tasted due to unforeseen refrigerator malfunctions 5 years ago.
there were presents in happy boxes from anthropologie and conversations and happiness and so on.
I seriously haven't ever really been surprised ...on purpose I guess. I even make appointments to give birth to my children I'm such a control freak....well, it worked! I was surprised. thank you Gabriel and everyone else for playing along.

Speaking of control and the lack thereof....Gabriel left the country yesterday for a week and I thought I would just jaunt over to my parent's house around lunch to see what was going on for a while before nap time here at my house would begin. We got to the garage with both cars to choose from so, of course I picked the smaller, faster one which parks easier than my bigger family one. Sharon and Lewi live 15 seconds from seat belt click in my garage to knock on their door so the girls just hopped in the car with no safety seats etc.
About 10 minutes into my visit there is a knock at the door and the across the street neighbor is telling me that they have just hit the car while backing out of their garage (and reading a note at the same time it turns out).
oh, no, not my domestic fix it anywhere car.
gabriel's car.
the foreign one with the 3 letters and the zeroes in the price any time you want to fix anything.

I park in that exact same spot EVERY SINGLE DAY! I mean every day. People park all along the street in this neighborhood every single day and I always see them....I never hit them. I never read while I back into them.
so now (see social inadequacy above) I am having to talk to strangers and work out a problem that I didn't create and it makes me sick. poor Gabriel hadn't even been gone 4 hours when his little car gets hurt.

life

I'm having a little problem wanting to devour my little Ruby. She is scrumptious. You know what I mean, like you get all anxious just to bite them! just eat them up! If she ever learns to say her r's I'm sure she will still be cute but something about a speech impedement and a pixie haircut and big blue eyes is driving me crazy with cuteness! "Look, mom, what aw dows twees? aw dey deciduous twees? o aw dey evowgween twees?"
good grief.
stop the madness.
so cute.

I am kind of all about minerals. Mineral powder, mineral blush, mineral foundation, minerals, minerals, minerals. so good. Also, I don't know if I've mentioned before that clinical strength deodorant is actually nigh unto a 3-d walking miracle from heaven. i mean it's not that, 'wow, my sweat doesn't smell at all' it's 'OH MY GOODNESS, I DON'T EVEN SWEAT ANYMORE!! sweat? what's that? I don't even sweat. I don't know what you're talking about.'
craziness.
I mean it's called Secret but people, I am yelling it from the rooftops....stop the sweating....MAKE YOURSELF LIKE A PRE-PUBESCENT CHILD AND NEVER SWEAT AGAIN! use it. buy it. follow the instructions and change your life.

forever.

that and these little chocolate dipped Blue bunny Popsicles that come, unfortunately, in a box of 20 and I cannot get enough of them.

that and it's my birthday in 8 days.
and I can't wait till that Tinker Bell movie comes out on the 28th because I'm insane.
And I'm obsessed with Genghis Khan after watching that movie Mongol last night.
adieu, adieu
to yur and yur and yur.

Monday, October 13, 2008

16 more days

It is 16 more days before I get to the 2nd ugliest age ever invented (31 being the first, 32 being the second). 32? what in the world IS it? It doesn't relate to anything and it sounds bad. there's no symmetry in 32. I'm not saying I'm old because I don't think 32 is old, I'm just saying it's ugly. ugly, ugly.

We just spent the last 9 days with Gabriel's brother and his family who stayed with us while. We are changed Sanchezes. Sarah and Sergio (that's their names) are those people who don't ever yell. I mean never. They don't get that fire of hell look in their eyes when their children whine and act out. NO, Sarah and Sergio don't play that...they fight fire with bubbles and naughtiness with tickling. I admire most everything about them as parents. So far we have quite a few days of not going ballistic on our children and our children are quite happy and, in some cases pleasantly surprised I'm sure, that we have had a live in example of how to be better and we're practicing. I have prayed and prayed for answers to my prayers and I have been frustrated to tears with my inability to see changes or even know what else to do. Thank you, Sarah and Sergio for showing us the way. Sometimes you get feelings and sometimes you get houseguests....they're all answers.

Yesterday was major drama at the primary program. Dellah has had her line memorized for 2 months."the prophet teaches us to be honest and pay our tithing". If you know her you know that she can't stop singing EVER so she knew all the songs too. We get to church early and she's wearing her pretty pretty dress and her magenta tights and her red patent maryjanes and she goes to sit on the stand. The program starts and she's fine. I am a child of God goes off without a hitch. She goes up to do her line with her trademark impeccable e-nun-ci-ationnn and she gets the appreciative giggle that comes when folks see such a small girl with such a clear voice.
Then we get to the rest of the songs and program where it was a cattle drive to the front of the podeum every time there was a song and there was no adult regulation of size order or shoving. Little 30 pound 4 year old Dellah kept getting shoved by these 6 or 7 year old kids and even one kid who's her age and, after 2 songs behind some mean huge kid who only thinks of themselves, she totally lost it up there on the stand. She's crying and saying,'but they're pushing me and I can't see and they're just pushing me and I can't see and they keep on pushing..." you can imagine. Her sweet teacher holds her for the rest of the non-song parts and the kids get the hint, sort of, that they need to ease up on the violence. She didn't sing any songs for all the drama. We are the parents of a Primary program sub-plot in carnate....nice.
I felt this uncontrolled urge to get up and shout, "what is wrong with you people, can't you see that all these big kids are crowding all these tiny little kids who have never done this before and no one can see them?!!!! there was a stinging in my eyes and a saliva building in my mouth from the rage.
Then I decided to ignore it and tell Dellah she did great (because she did) and try to say we should be more like Jesus and forgive people for pushing us when we're 3 1/2 feet tall and they're huge and could be seen easily with no effort BEHIND the tiny kids but they didn't move because they're lame (I mean kids).
Now she says that the next time she has a program she'll wear the same dress and sing all the songs loudly. Here's to missed chances and kids with no social graces.
hip hip hooooorayyy.

down below here I have a post about my sister you should read.

thanks for playing.

genetical bliss

I have siblings. Today I would focus on the youngest sister who probably benefitted from some heretofore unknown magic available only to last children and only children (who are alpha and omega in one kid). Anyway, there's Jenny Wilson, my little sister who has always just had this no nonsense way of making stuff work. Where I would actually get distracted between getting out my toothbrush and actually brushing my teeth, she would make it all the way to the end of the process quickly and then make some gadget to have it be more aesthetic and efficient for people like me. She majored in family home and personal enrichment education at BYU or whatever they call that major that every single girl wishes she had done after she gets married and has children.
Anyway, she has this blog where you can see how cute she is and how clever and everything else. it's http://www.jwsew.blogspot.com/.
I can do lots of stuff but I can't even figure out how to change the background of this ugly blog or sew a straight line, much less set up a paypal account so you can see why Jenny is once, twice, three times a lady..

Wednesday, October 01, 2008

you're just brown

The other Sunday in church Dellah was having a relapse of her puppy/kitten phase and started licking Gabriel's hand in sacrament meeting...Gabriel looks down at her and whispers, 'don't lick my hand, Dellah, it's dirty', to which she replied, 'You're not dirty papi, you're just brown...'
This is the first time I have ever heard her acknowledge that her Papi is not white like she looks from the outside...I wondered for a second if she would be drawn to brown boys just because of her comfort level or if she would feel 'mexican' in some way and express that in some heretofore unknown way...I think it will be fascinating to watch and see what two cultures look like painted on one little girl.
As for Ruby, this is an exact quote, "Mami, do you talk Espanol?"
"Si, Ruby, yo hablo Espanol siempre"
"oh, I talk Espanol tambien, Mami...dus like yuuu"
mmmmhmmm...
well, sort of.

My chubbiness is grossing me out. Something has to happen where I stop eating. Death is not an option since I really appreciate living...
I just wish I had some endorphins to help me want to get some more endorphins by some exercising or something besides watching television and wishing I had endorphins...
whatever.
If food would start tasting like crap it would be a lot easier but I feel so happy when I have yumminess in my tumminess...

Kinley needs to get her big stupid self off of project runway. I can't stand that girl.
I watched the John Adams HBO movie after reading the book and I have to say, I really wish people cared about America the way they used to when it was just an infant that they needed to form and help and protect. Homeboy was ugly but he was inspired.
that's fo sho.

I'm sure you've all cut your hair because you were so sick of your hair and just knew that it would look better if you cut it when all you needed to do was let it keep growing past the ugliness to get even better...
pictures from June haunt me...I should have just LEFT IT ALONE! but noooo, I had to think that I wanted Ruby's little effortless Tinkerbell situation without thinking that I'm 3 feet taller, not a blond and not 3 years old.
evil shears...
stop cutting my hairs when I open you and put you around my hairs and want to cut my hairs thinking I know better than professional hair cutters know about my hairs...turn a blunt ear, dearest shears...leave me alone...help me help myself and not be homely by being homely past the homely stage until my arrival at cute hair...
carpet you can atone for...haircuts you just lament.

On a lighter note, today was a really good day. I was saying things like, "do you need some alone time so that you can stop feeling angry?" and "you know, it hurts my feelings when you yell at me, can you please calm down and talk with words?"
look at me being all educated by nanny 911.
I hope tomorrow goes the same...it's amazing how fun life can be when you don't dislike your offspring!

ps, when there are ugly people in commercials trying to get people to buy things and stay at places by making them think that normal people buy those things and stay at those hotels, it makes me really sick because wouldn't everyone rather believe that fabulously good looking people are making the same choices as them and not that they're on par with really average/ugly people? I don't buy barbies for my children, I say positive things to my children about my own body and theirs and appreciate diversity in life but I would much rather see Brooke Shields selling Colgate than weird looking people staying at Best Western.
that's all.

Friday, September 26, 2008

viernes en el barrio

When you have not written in your blog for 2 months and you have felt yourself slipping into that gross place where you feel all closed off and separate from people this is what you should do....
BLOG UNTIL YOU FEEL LIKE BLOGGING...
I think a prophet said that or something.

My parents live 10 doors down from me now...I can't remember what I used to do and that's probably a problem because I take Dellah to school and then I go to their house and then I pick Dellah up and then I go to their house and then I take the girls home to rest a while and then I got to their house with dinner ingredients and eat at their house....
seriously, Erin...co dependence is ugly.

I tried to post right when I got home from Mexico City which was pretty wonderful actually and then blogger told me that my pictures couldn't be posted and I just got very discouraged and ignored blogger. When you ignore the blog you are only hurting yourself.

This morning and yesterday morning Dellah has screamed at the top of her shrill little voice that I am a 'BAAAD MAMI! UGLY MAMI!' and when I took her to the place of no return for her behavior (time out) she bit my hand...she BIT me!
what the crap?! It's not every day that you live inside a time worn phrase and live to tell the tale...she actually bit the hand that feeds her.
unconscionable

We have atoned for our bad carpet choices when we built this house 1.5 years ago. We now have squishy, squooshy carpet exactly the color of most kinds of dirt and all kinds of poop.
mmmmooooaaahhhhhaahahaha...you will not sully my surroundings, foul dirt...you have met your DuPont smart strand match!

mmmmmm....what else...there's so much stuff it's just too much to tell. I'll have to do installments. Of course I'm at my parent's house right now so I'll write more at my own house where my pictures are on the computer.
At least I've breached that drafty corridor between me and my blog and found the journey shorter and easier than I had worked it up in my mind to be.

current television obsessions: Lipstick Jungle, Project Runway, Top Design, the Rachel Zoe Project

Currently listening to : Lost Songs by David Gray
Currently obsessively consuming: chocolate milk
currently wearing every single day because I am chubby and nothing else fits me : wide legged trousers from gap and some ultra heinous floral shirt from Kohls
Current amount of time I have been trying to have a baby and can't: 10 months
Current amount of cruelness felt from this ultimate joke played on me and my feelings of complete and utter fertility....incalculable

I went to Cindy's last night for a fun little shin-dig...so happy to have seen dear people I looooove.

Tuesday, July 22, 2008

adios

Just leaving to go to Mexico City.
wish me luck.

Sunday, July 20, 2008

15,000 heads bobbing

There's this pretty obscure singer called Sting from this little no name band Called the Police that has had some pretty good songs recorded over the years, some of which have changed the course of my actual life... and then

I SAW THEM LAST NIGHT AND ALMOST WET MY PANTS!!!!!!!!!!!

Cindy called last week and told me she had a little ticket just for me so we went and, after Elvis Costello opened, this dude came out and started ringing this giant gong...
and then he was there.

Sting.

Actual Sting.
Actual Sting in a long sleeved translucent black second skin tight t-shirt and 3 days of stubble and his ancient bass.
Actual sting singing actual 'Message in a bottle' and actual 'Roxanne' and actual 'Don't stand so close to me'.
I just kept thinking to myself....I'm here, I'm here, I'm screaming, 'there's a little black spot on the sun today, it's my soul up there'.... WITH STING!

it was definitely not to be rivaled in the near future or recent past....

it's like somebody put Sting in a bottle in 1993 and he looks exactly the same only with more muscles...
I told Cindy...I just hoped he wouldn't disappoint, you know...like we get all the way there and he sounds all old and lame live or something.

yeah.
not so much.

pretty much perfect.
We had such a good time.

Thanks so much Cindy. there's no one with whom I would rather observe overly drunk people and almost run out of gas and eat a 3 foot long bag of kettle corn with than you.

Saturday, July 19, 2008

the eyes have it


ahhh, ocular apparati...don't get me wrong, I'm totally glad I can see, it's just the madness of the whole thing that gets me.
Yesterday I'm standing in line at snoasis (shut up naysayers) and some teenage girl was in line ahead of me with her friend and her brother and she was pretty loud and vocal saying, "OH MY GOODNESS, YOU HAVE THE COOLEST EYES! YOUR EYES ARE AMAZING! LOOK AT HER EYES!"
I'm not one to turn down compliments in any form but this was a smidge embarrassing for some reason. Maybe I thought I liked being the center of attention and I actually don't. Maybe It's just when I'm the center of breaking the sound barrier adolescent attention that gets me.
This past Christmas when I was in the Tabernacle Choir Christmas Concert, people came up to me every day saying, "what's wrong with your eyes? are you alright? have you been crying? I have some visine if you want..."

that pendulum swings and swings people. sometimes you're up, and mostly you're down or falling downward.

I went to the eye doctor this week and was telling him how frustrated I am by the redness of my eyes and the dryness (of my eyes) and the overall wishing I didn't have to be at the eye doctor and that I could have laser surgery already (on my eyes).
After lots of 'which is better, 1 or 2, 2 or 3, 3 or 2...what's the smallest line you can read?', he gave me information I had long suspected and now am positive of....I am a freak.
He's pulls out a pad of pre-printed eyes on paper so he can show me the position of every other human being's eyelids and then tells me, "you see how the lid normally covers a little part of the colored circle on the top and the bottom?....well yours don't...your colored circle is totally all exposed to the air at all times which would definitely cause them to be dryer than normal."

The word normal was used twice in that sentence to describe what I am NOT.

awesome.
question 513 in my life list of questions. "why is it impossible to take a good picture without looking like someone's coming at me on a secluded road at night with their brights on?"
mystery solved.
I can't imagine that there are any of you who have failed to notice this anomaly but feel free to stare next time you see me to gain your own witness.
As if being legally blind and unable to live or function without contacts or glasses wasn't enough...

NOW I'LL NEVER BE A TEEN MODEL!!!
the humanity.

My one consolation is that my offspring seem to have gotten nicely hued eyes minus the side-show factor...Gabriel has just informed me that if he were writing about his eyes he would do it in two words, 'round and brown' and that I seem to be writing an awful lot...he thinks he's such a poet..so funny. hilarious.
men.

So I'm going to Mexico City on Wednesday with my husband who is exceedingly handsome with his new erinsanchezcutsmyhair haircut. He has business for half of one day and then we're staying 5 more days to have a celebration of the fact that we have been married for five years (on the 26th).
My parents who are so nice are coming to take care of the girls and, whereas last year I got all squirmy to leave them when we went to Puerta Vallarta (again for Gabriel's work but pretty convenient for vacating), this year I feel a strong sense of the get on the plane and look forward toward rest and mental health vibe.

I'll say hi to Frida and Diego for you and make a sacrifice at the Aztec temple on your behalf...don't even think I'm joking.

Wednesday, July 09, 2008

the shopping spirit

many times he has led me, many times I have had success...very seldom do I actually achieve shopping nirvana like I did this early afternoon at the Sandy DI.
If you couldn't care less about this you probably shouldn't read on cause that's all I'm going to talk about.
Perhaps I was worthy of my prizes because I had just taken my sullen, bored children to the park like a good mother where they walked around like they had no idea what to do with themselves and all the play equipment and beauty bark. Finally after 40 minutes Dellah said, "mami, why's the park gotta be so hot?". My reply was that there is no roof on the park and the sun can just touch you everywhere. she decided that heat was not conducive to whining at full wattage so we left so she could whine in air conditioned peace about how she smelled like 'sunthing' (screen).

Then we went across 94th south to DI. At first it was like every other time...the attic-y, fluorescent light, children screaming vibe. Then I walked down the toy isle and saw a Fisher Price Little People Tudor style house..hm, ok..I already know the one I played with as a kid is at my parent's house so I just thought i would get it to have one more thing to add to our Ferris wheel, our parking garage and our sesame street clubhouse (all vintage fisher price) We don't however have any of the little round bodied folks that go in the toys or any of the cars for the garage but the girls like putting other stuff around to play with them...

then what to my wondering eyes should appear but a piece of clear packing tape from the front to the rear (of the little Tudor house). and what was that tape holding the house together for? you ask...
oh, I don't know, MAYBE A GALLON SIZED ZIPLOC BAG OF LITTLE PEOPLE AND CARS AND HOME FURNISHINGS!!!!

YEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSS.

i don't know if you've ever looked on e-bay or in stores for little people toys but they are weirdly expensive and you can hardly find the people....and here they were...in all their plastic no arms, no legs glory inside the Tudor house for $3.

I will let that sink in.

three dollars.

the price of a large snoasis with extra cream.

12 quarters.

I have looked for 4 years and here they are.
feelings like this seldom come but they are so so energizing.

Then I proceeded over to the clothes where I found (among other, less illustrious finds) a $2 Catimini Dress that is brand new and a $3 juicy couture hoodie for Dellah that is also not even used..
Look it up if you wonder what the big deal is about that...just look it up.

So, then, people, I went to get a large coconut snoasis with extra cream and my girls got their xs snoasises and we came home at 1pm.

It is now 2:28 in the afternoon (two minutes before quiet time) and my girls have been playing downstairs with their little people and all their accouterments and locations FOR AN HOUR AND A HALF!

THANK YOU SHOPPING SPIRIT!** no, seriously, thank you so much. seriously.

**( i mean no disrespect to actual Deity as i know a real shopping spirit cannot exist in the realm of Mormon theology, nor does the actual Spirit of Mormon theology participate in shopping excursions. but, I think in ancient Egypt they could have wrangled up a creature to represent uncanny consumer experiences, therefore my tongue is in my cheek and I am not unbelieving, inactive, blasphemous or lightminded, ok? ok.)

!viva el espiritu de compras!!! ai, yai,yai,yai!

Tuesday, July 01, 2008

That fresh feeling...

You know that song by the eels, 'fresh feeling'? I'm minorly addicted to that song at this moment and also Leona Lewis. Ruby's always saying, 'mami, I wan beeting lub'
I put on 'bleeding love' and then when it's over we repeat it 47 times until I'm allowed to listen to the fresh feeling song again. The other song my girls like is 'irreplaceable' by Beyonce. I have to say that watching very very small people sing, 'you must not know 'bout me, you must not know 'bout me, I could have another you in a minute, matter fact, he'll be here in a minute, baby' at the top of their lungs is at once disturbing an hilarious. You know what? They'll be fine. At least it's not that one week where they were hooked on All American Rejects, 'I'll keep you my dirty little secret' and Dellah sang it in Sacrament meeting...

It's one of those times when it's been so long since I've written I might as well just ignore following up on any of the past and start with a fresh feeling as it were.
that said, I should say we haven't heard back from the neurologist about Ruby's test and my in-laws are leaving in 6 days and coming back here for two of those bringing our grand total up to 29 days of them in my house....There are so many bricks in my mansion in heaven by now I could probably move right in...or maybe there are just holes in my tongue from biting it for 2 months.

what EVER!!!!!

moving on to blatant and shameless consumerism:
yesterday I went to target and spent some ridiculous sum of money on whatever the blank I felt like buying. I mean I bought necklaces and earrings and ribbon and cool buttons to make little girl hair clips out of and Boggle and Sorry and an eco-friendly un-lined journal printed on recycled paper and illustrated with vegetable dyes and etcetera and so forth. Before that I went to DSW and bought some chocolate brown above the ankle Michael Khors riding boots for 80% off of $168. After that we met Gabriel at Noodles and Company and ate pasta and After that I went to Snoasis and got a large coconut with extra cream and ate it and ate it and ate it some more.

I have to say that there is a strange feeling that the actual universe owes me something lately. I'm not proud of it but I just think, 'There are 7 or 9 things about my life right now that totally suck and I'm doing my best and I'm pretty sure I deserve material possessions which I will never be able to take to Heaven if I make it so I'm just going to recognize myself for all of my efforts to keep it together.
Is that spoiled and entitled enough for everyone?
OK, moving on.
We have this big hardbound Disney princess treasury in Spanish that Ruby carries around like it doesn't weigh 5 pounds by the front cover and throws it off of high places to watch it splat on the floor. I got out my glue gun (which I had never opened in 3 years) on Sunday night to fix the cover of that poor book which had given up and fallen away from the pages and the cover of my 'Memoirs of Cleopatra' by Margaret George and then I thought to myself, "why don't I just fix that one hair clip while I'm at it?"
That was all it took. Erin-obsessively-find-something-basically-useless-to-expend-most-of-your-energy-and-time-on Sanchez was then enlisted in the making of hair clips for my children. I had a box of metal clips from Sally's and there was just no end to the things I was gluing to those poor clips. How liberating to put clothes on your child and think, "I don't have a hair accessory to match this" and then think, "stop the press! LET'S JUST MAKE ONE!" Now if only my hair didn't look like I have a penchant for denim jumpers and square toed pumps.
That about sums up my weekend.
I'm back.

Friday, June 13, 2008

would you like to donate a dollar to Primary Children's today?


I always do that when they ask me in the store...mostly just because I feel like Me and mine seem to be at Pimary Children's quite a bit. I always put Ruby's name on the little hot air balloon that they have connected and draped all over Ross or Wal Mart or wherever. So today my dollars are paying for Ruby to be here with stuff glued to her head and me sleeping on a vinyl couch with a bag of potato chips and some vitamin water. I stopped on the way here to get a gynormous snoasis. vanilla with extra cream...I think I should work my way up to gynormous in the future. I feel a little sick.
My in laws are still at my house. still.
they'll be there for another week I think...
vinyl bed and potato chips = small price to pay for night away.

I have had company in town for almost 4 weeks in a row...that's a little taxing on the soul. I need one of those nights when I get to go out and do nothing except frivolous things that only I want to do. I wonder when that will happen.

Ruby's watching Enchanted for the 7millionth time since Easter. I gotta go watch so I can somehow stay awake until it's time for bed.

love and kisses and affectionate batting of the eyelashes,
erin

Thursday, June 05, 2008

Mi Dellita Querida

My little Dellah Faye turned 4 today. (I think it's technically Thursday the 5th but I haven't been to sleep since it was Wednesday the 4th). You know, you only ever get one of the 4 on the 4th or the 29 on the 29ths. Everyone in our family has had theirs now except for Ruby who has to wait 22 more years...I'm a little relieved every time we exit that two month period where both of my children are the same age...now we have a three and a four. It's not so 'side show' that way.

So, today was her day and we went to the dollar movie to see Horton Hears a Who and then to the restaurant of choice for the children in my house, Noodles and Company. My mom is visiting with us so Dellah got to spend lots of time with her favorite person, my mom!

This is the cake I made after being told that it had to have flowers, ladybugs, butterflies and sunshine. The ladybugs are buttons. I think it turned out rather well, actually


She ate all of her macaroni. And then we went home to eat cake and open presents.


From the first minute I saw Dellah I absolutely knew I was in love with her like every mom is with her baby. she seemed older than one of those newborn folks. She took up so much 'room' from the very beginning. Our house seemed full of somebody big and she was so small.

She has proceeded to be the absolute joy of my life. She is seriously hilarious. (and bossy and stubborn and melodramatic) and her little squeaky voice never stops saying so much STUFF it's unbelievable..who even knows what most of it's about. There is something hugely 'me' about her and then something of Gabriel and then there's that thing that everybody comes with that genetics just doesn't do.
She didn't know (or maybe she did) that she would only get a few weeks with a mom who wasn't pregnant and sick and couldn't get out of bed for months. She just lay there beside me on the bed and slept and cooed and played quietly. She didn't know maybe that she would still be in a rear facing car seat and not even walking yet when her sister would come with a whole bag of drama and take the spotlight off of her exclusively. She did, however spend the first two months of her life looking fixedly at the ceiling and smiling. Only Dellah could have been Ruby's sister and live to tell the tale.

Dellah is the lightening bug in darkness.
She seriously drives me insane.
she does things that I fully remember doing as a really small child but it's just too weird to see them done all over again and realize you can't even get mad because you empathize with her mindset. poor girl. I guess there are worse things that having your mother's neuroses but she probably won't think so.


I love this little girl. It feels like so much longer than 4 years. I don't remember what the world was like without her. Maybe the world doesn't remember either.

Tu eres mi luz, mi amorcita bonita banana. Mi amor. Mi vida. mi preciosa. mi princesa.

Tuesday, May 27, 2008

viva Mexico

this is Dellah and Ruby saying, 'thank you, Papi, for being from Chiapas where they have these awesome dresses.

Saturday, May 24, 2008

saturday

Today we had a garage sale (since we don't have a yard). It sounds great when you say that we made 2,860 pesos...it sounds just fine when you say we made $286! Hooray for us.
I have come to the conclusion that I have to come to the conclusion that I will no longer buy so many items of apparel. Some girl comes up to me with a pair of 7 jeans and an unworn shirt from H&M, a banana republic skirt and some turquoise steve Madden pumps and I'm like, "That will be $9". what? what is wrong with me? these pregnant girls were coming in buying entire layettes for their unborn children and well into their toddlerhood...Someone close DI...make it stop. Help me not go to the Gateway mall and to TJ Maxx and Ross. Help me be crafty and make scrapbooks and toll paintings and dinner.

or just go to famous footwear's buy one get one half off sale and get a couple of things...there's always THAT I could do after getting rid of half my garage.

sheesh.

Ruby says, "yeth". Do you want some more food, Ruby? "yeth" "yeth, I want thom mow".
there is hardly anything cuter right now.

Friday, May 23, 2008

ummm...

so when you have small people you're in charge of and they have fevers and mucus and they cough on you for 4 days you get fevers and mucus. note to self.

I would be my friend if I were you. I would go to my blog just to see if I were alive.
is it too much to ask that you just say, 'hey, I came to see if you're alive' cause I would do it for you and I HAVE done it for you and I don't even want to hear the whole, "oh, stop being so dramatic, Erin, you're not that good of a friend to all of us, you don't deserve more than 3 comments (one of them that you actually wrote as a response) to a post in a week!" I thought we agreed I would be fragile during this Mexican innundation and I would need support. I'm not one of those emotionally stable people who's like, "I got this business all wrapped up". I'm one of those folks that's like, "I wish I had this...do I have this?...what do you think"
whatever.

Dad?
are you even reading this Dad?
Mom called me today and it was like this,
E-hey, mom
M- hey, haven't talked to you for a while, thought I'd see what you're doing
E-well I've had a fever and been sick so I've been in my pajamas for a while
M-oh, well I'll let you go
E-no, no, I want to talk, so what are you doing?
m-nothing.
E-oh, well what's new, anything good going on?
M-no, we're just living in the future, not the present, that's all. I've been trying all day to get out of the house but now it's too late (it was 1pm there)
E -chat, chat, chat, the girls, the girls, the girls, encourage, encourage
M-oh kay, well I'll let you go, bye.

I'm basically devoid of blood after that emotional vapirism.
just like you will be at the end of this post! haaaaaahahahahahahahh!
I talked to my friend Amy who said my posts worry her like I'm really sad.
I told her it's a nice place to rant and then move on with my really pretty happy life.
While I'm ranting, I feel so mad when I go to weddings and people get married and they get all these presents and everybody's like, "here let me get you all these presents" and I'm like, "I wish I would have gotten all these presents when I got married" and then I feel mad like my married didn't matter as far as presents go. like, seriously. not even towels or a George foreman grill or anything!

I'm happy.
I'm relatively cued in to what's currently fashionable.
I have a really cute florescent pink Diesel watch.
I had cold stone last night and it didn't make me like a rabid hound out for more cold stone every day for the next 5 months.
Snoasis is set up in the parking lot just ready to open this weekend.
My children like me and the feeling's mutual.

I just gotta get it off my 38C, man. go ahead and get your transfusion now, Dad and Jenny and Cindy and Andi who are my only readers.

have you seen the movie Bella? somebody please tell me what I'm supposed to think happened at the end because I don't even know at all.

Friday, May 16, 2008

viernes en el barrio

Things are good....almost great!*
I was up until I don't even remember when with Dellah who had a fever and was throwing up red jell-o on my new white leather watchband.
good times.
I can't even think of a more beautiful day than this day. Have you looked outside?
rediculously nice.
I've been speaking so much Spanish, my mind is falling apart. Yesterday I was in line at Wal-Mart when I realized that it was the 20 items or less line and I had already put about 35 things on the counter....I still had about 14 more so I just said to the lady, "ai, lo siento, es que no me di cuenta en que fila estaba"....then I realized that the woman's name was Hezapeth and she was so totally middle eastern I just wanted to run and leave the bananas and tortillas for someone else.
lame.
line quantity violator AND capable of racist assumption that brown woman working at Wal Mart was latina...
At least there are oreo cakesters.
At least there's that.
Also Ruby took an antibiotic for a staph infection where the sun doesn't shine and she woke up the next morning with huge red welts on her belly and it kept multiplying and multiplying until her whole body, face, hands, legs, kooch, belly, neck were all covered. The Dr. told us not to do anything except stop taking the meds and it would take a week at least for the things to go away...first, however, they were going to fade from bright red and start to look like dusky bruises.
Now I have a 3 year old child who cries and moans incessantly who looks like she's also a victim of domestic violence...poor little girl. If it's not one thing it's the other with Ruby. Until it's over I guess she just won't wear shorts.

I don't know if I've mentioned before that Gabriel's brother is a dentist and also a professor and also, as of late, one of those 'doctors' who use magnets to cure people of their deadly illnesses and indigestion. He lives in Mexico but now that the parents are here, they have set up an appointment on sunday when we are to bring our magnets (what magnets?!) to Gabriel's brother's house and talk with Kike on Skype so he can show us where to put our magnets (what magnets?) on Ruby so that she no longer has any problems whatsoever and the leading pediatric neurologist in Utah can rest peaceful that the 18 months he's been stumped by her have been miraculously cured with 4 magnets.!!!!!!!!! they could also send someone to receive Ruby's treatment for her vicariously but decided that it was better if Ruby were there watching Kike on skype so we could have her covered in her own magnetics.
I thought we mormons got enough flack for the vicarious idea...
h e l p
at least there's oreo cakesters.
today I am wearing a little white and blue seer-sucker jumper with a little white v-neck t-shirt underneath and my little white leather watch and my little navy blue patent leather flat strappy sandals...
I find if I call my clothing little it makes me feel better about the whole chubby situation I find myself in.
At least I took a shower.
at least there's that.
my husband is so cute it's just crazy.

Thursday, May 08, 2008

crime and punishment

I was in Target yesterday picking up a prescription with Ruby while Dellah was at school. This mom in an aisle near me was having a hard time with a screaming kid and she said, "if you do that again, I will wash your mouth out with soap".

I have prayed and fasted and plead with Heaven to help me know what to do to make some kind of impact on my children. They simply don't care about words or tone of voice or loss of toys or time out or silent treatments.

as a totally out of answers to my own life mother, I, personally felt as if Heaven had opened and I had heard a voice of great wisdom speak to my mind....

That's it! Harmless and yet, effective physical punishment.

Yesterday Dellah screamed her out of control scream for the 100th time and I said, that's it...jabon en la boca....I took her to the sink, put a dab of my non-paraban, method soap on my finger and stuck it on her tongue. Silence.
Today I used a one and a two and a three for bad deeds and on the third there was going to be soap.
Dellah 0
Ruby 3
Tomorrow I hope Ruby can remember what it tastes like to have soap in her mouth and respond accordingly.

I'm so happy!

Call family services, I don't even care. This is the best thing that's happened in many, many months here in my household.
some order
some control
some discipline if you will for completely defiant kids who just look at me while they do what they're not supposed to do.
finally a win for my side.
Tomorrow it probably won't work at all but yesterday and today were enough to boost my sense of parental-ness

Monday, May 05, 2008

Cinco de Mayo...what?

I live with a Mexican who has never celebrated Cinco de Mayo in his whole life. He doesn't understand what he would celebrate. Mexican independence day (and most of Central America too) has their 4th of July on the 16th of September. I think Americans invented Cinco de Mayo so they can say things like, 'Tequila' and 'Fiesta' and 'Sombrero'.

That behind me, I would like to inform my vast and far reaching readership (or something) that the 'Disgrace to your Gender' letters of yesteryear live on...only now they are 'Disgrace to your Establishment' letters because I recently wrote the organizer of that one Methodist sale I just sold stuff in and gave her the who and the why and the what for of what she can do with her ridiculous letter telling me that I caused clerical errors with the cashiers because my price tags were unreadably too small so in the future, I need to please use only the template they provide....you know what? I defy anyone on the earth to tell me that I don't know the dimensions of a price tag...I'm legally blind in both my eyes without contacts and I could see them at arm's length! So, anyway, it felt really good to tell her that I was a very intelligent person who had done nothing but print the template SHE SENT ME and fill in the blanks and that if she needed any helpful hints, maybe she could not employ actual blind people over the age of 77 as her cashiers. Also I told her it was bad form to tell anyone that clerical errors were made in your accounting...I did everything but tell her that my husband's a lawyer and I'm going to sue her for being a complete idiot. It was just condescending when I stayed up past 1 am for 3 days to wash and iron and hang and tag 156 items of clothes. It looked like a store. All the same hangars, all the same direction, all the same sized safety pins holing the tags, all shirts, pants, skirts and dresses together in groups. You know me. She told me they had to be in nearly new condition with no frays or loose buttons for this very high quality sale. I didn't send tons of things because they weren't perfect. Then they send me 14 things in my box of stuff that I wanted back if they didn't sell that were never even mine...14 ugly, stained, baby BOY, carter's monstrosities and I'm like.........well, I've already told you what I was like.
She didn't respond funnily enough.
All the boys I ever wrote them to at least responded in some way.
eh..
what ever.
This is reason number 783 why I am nothing like the Lord and would not go to Heaven if I died in a few minutes. Please let me have more time on earth to not feel so happy that I was mean to that pretentious poophead.

I am now going to be like a lighthouse with flags and flares and blinking lights and small glass observatories. I will tell you the code. I will have a secret word for the different stages of misery that I am going to feel when my husband's parents (who dislike me greatly, not that I just think it but that they just said it out loud very loudly to my husband who then hung up on them two years ago) come to visit Utah for t w o m o n t h s. They come on Saturday the 10th and they leave mid July...
I'm just going to let that percolate so you will understand the need for secret codes and combinations. I feel like a Mason. So, when things are OK, I will say 'good' and when things suck I will say, 'great' and when things are about to go off the hook or the balcony or the deep end, I will say 'Fantastic'. This way everyone will think I'm so nice when I talk about the fantastic time I'm having, negating the need for a reason 784... on the outside at least. But you and I will know what I mean. We will laugh secretly in our innermost chambers at the greatness of my adjective-ness and the lameness of my situation-ness. we will laugh a laugh like, mmmmooooaaaahahahahahhhaa. If I ever have to say Magnificent you better just call the local authorities because there will have been some Sanchez splattered somewhere conspicuous up in here if I'm still alive to write 'magnificent' at all.

I watched Kite Runner the other night. so, so good. The guy in it said, "children are not like coloring books, you cannot just put your favorite colors in them, they are themselves". good advice. I tend to walk around with a magenta crayon all up in their faces. I am newly resolved to let them be whatever colors they want.

Wednesday, April 30, 2008

Feliz Cumpleanos, Amorcito

This is (Carlos) Gabriel Sanchez (Manchinelly) who I love and am married to.

Today he is 34 years old.
He's done so much to make me happy in the 5 years that I've known him; Things like, he's really good looking and I like to look at him. Also things like he likes to go out to dinner and so do I so that's helpful. He wakes up super early every single day to go and win our loaf of bread and he never complains (except some Sundays) that he's really tired. He buys insurance policies for everything we own so that we're safe and taken care of. He puts the new registration sticker on my license plate a week after the other one expired because I would never have remembered it. He's cheerful and fun to be around and, while it's possible for us to fight about everything from Scrabble to piano moving to immigration laws, we're mostly happy because he is so great and not because life is so so easy for him or us.


He is inherently social and everyone likes him. I mean EVERYONE. It's a little ridiculous sometimes for me to think about but he also really likes himself (in one of those healthy ways). I guess that's what other people respond to. He's comfortable to be himself wherever he goes and talking on the phone doesn't scare him at all. Neither does the Statue of Liberty. As you can gather, that makes him perfect for me. He is stubborn and opinionated but so am I, and more than him so that also makes him wonderful...to be able to live with me and still want to keep living with me.

My family would vote unanimously that Gabriel saved me from certain aimless floating and failed relationships with poets and lead singers and introverted artists. I didn't really need saving in those ways or any way but Gabriel just IS what I am not. He is brown and I am not, he is a boy and I am not, he is disciplined,not me, extremely put together, takes a daily shower, nope, not me, hardworking, organized, productive, forgiving, nuh-uh, obedient, He's even a better mother than me if that's possible. I have him on imagination and bargain shopping, frivolity and overeating but other than that, the man changed the trajectory of who I might have become if left to my own devices. Basically I celebrate Gabriel today because it is the anniversary of his birth. I thank Maria Elena Manchinelly de Sanchez for putting him in the world. My whole daily life is a celebration of sorts that I get to be with him forever and, really, truly be so happy about that. Feliz cumpleanos, mi amor y que tengas mil anos mas, llenos de felicidad y besos y carne roja.


Te amo para siempre jamas.

Monday, April 28, 2008

3squared

My little baby is three years old. (incidentally, my big baby is also three years old until June but I just won't go there right now). On Friday the 25th of April we had Ruby Claire's birthday. She started out wearing what I wanted her to and then, mid-morning she insisted on putting her nightgown back on and putting a lacy, swirly DI dress over the top of her pajamas. So that is what she looked like the rest of the day...pajamas with a dress on top. There are so many things I care about more than this (relatively) unphotogenic aspect of her life so that's fine. you
Wear whatever you please, Ruby, you know you're going to whether anybody 'lets' you or not.
There isn't anything about life that I love more than my little Booby Claire Sanchez. There are, roughly, 50 minutes a day when she is so sparkly and funny and happy and sweet and somehow, in my mom-mindedness, that's enough. the rest of the time she's just confused about life and her place in it I think. Why nothing works like she thinks it should. Why she can't do things as fast as she wishes she could. Why I don't understand what she's saying when she's being so emphatically clear. Why she came here to these morons who are probably ruining her and her potential to be a top accountant with their focus on frivolity and songs and mental instability.

This was the cake I made after she said she wanted a flower cake. Kind of conceptual I'm afraid but it was colorful and had three little fires on top for a while so that was enough. We decorated the cake in the morning

This is Ruby doing her part to preserve the sanitary nature of the project.

Then my dad who was still in town took the girls on a walk down to his house to have a last look around before he left later that day. My children love my parents. All they have to do is say, 'oh, let's not cry' and they just don't! what is up with that? This was a kind and happy thing for him to do and, amazingly, 30 minutes by myself with music very loud was very therapeutic. I like to think of it as a preview of sorts to future quiet times with my parents down the street.


Then we took my dad to the airport and went to get Gabriel at work downtown on our way home. We took Ruby to eat 'macaronis' at Noodles and Company where they sell really good macaroni for small people and big people and then Ruby wanted the gum out of Gabriel's mouth. gross.



At home we put them down for a nap which they didn't take so we sang and ate cake and opened her gifts. My mom and dad got her a strawberry shortcake book with a little musical thing and a wooden tool box and a puzzle. Of course she loved these things. A lot. I got Ruby a lovely princess dress that was all long and floaty and sparkly and...she hated it. Didn't want to wear it, didn't want to touch it, didn't love it. Then I tried to see if Dellah wanted to wear it to get the jealousy thing going for Ruby so Dellah put it on and wanted it removed immediately. Tough crowd. Grandparents 100% Parents O...

It was a good day. Pretty relaxed. No party bags and kids and carpool. I'm not ready for that. Not until she asks for it.
I like remembering when Ruby came to join us. It feels like a really long time ago and not just 3 years because she has had such a slow evolution to be who she is now. The birth certificate says 2005 so I guess it's just 3 years.
Ruby has taught me what it means to be a mother. Dellah was first but Dellah was easy and I knew what to do somehow. All her problems were solvable. All her crying stopped eventually. like they say in a League of Their Own, "It's supposed to be hard...it's the hard that makes it good". So I thank you, Ruby Claire. Without you my life would be too easy to deserve my mansion in Heaven. You are a precious girl to us.
As I tucked them in to bed that night and stood in the doorway while Dellah told her usual 5 minute story about yellow dinosaurs with blue mountains on their backs and the 3 little pigs and huffing and puffing and blowing everything over, I was going to leave when Ruby said, "Mami, I wan to tewl yu sometin"....she was obviously thinking very hard for something meaningful or coherent and after a few seconds she said, "um, lolipops aw beaudifow". Yes they are, Ruby...And so are you sweet baby girl.

Wednesday, April 23, 2008

elementary school

My parents were in town this past weekend to bring a few of their belongings to their new house that I showed in the previous post. My dad drove with my brother in a moving truck because my brother is so nice that he flies to WA to drive with my dad and then stays the night he arrives here to UT and then leaves the next day to fly home to CA. I don't think, never mind, I know I'm not that nice.
My mom was all skeptical about her house like, oh, I don't know if it's big enough, I don't know if it's a mistake and then my brother shows up (whom she worships) and she's like all, "so, here's the house and here's the built in mantle and here's the metal balustrade and, I just think it's going to work great". My brother's in the building business so I guess she needed his approval which he wholeheartedly gave because her house is nice and doesn't suck. I apologize for the middle child angst.
I know it's there.
I'm self actualized.
I got it, okay?
So, anyway my parents brought some boxes unearthed from their current garage and in one of them were some of my personal papers (or stuff that I wrote when I was in elementary school. One of them was a story about some friends and a girl who has a crush on some boy and gets all nervous around him. Story of my life.
The other was a paper entitled "Twenty Four" only with just the numbers like "24"

I will now quote myself from my 4th grade delusions:

If I could be any age I wanted, I would be 24. One reason why I chose this age is because I would be out of college and then I could be what I have always dreamed of being, a dancer. I love my beautiful, talented dance teacher so much I want to be just like her. I think of all the fun it would be to teach people ballet. That is the career for me. The second reason why I would love to be 24 is so I could get married to a handsome man out of medical school that would take care of me and have a stable job so I would not have to work except to be a dancer. Having a checkbook and credit cards is my third reason. I have always dreamed of writing a check for the clothes I buy or saying to the lady at the counter in the Limited to 'Charge it'. I would absolutely love to be 24.

There are so many things wrong with that little paper I can't even begin to list them but I was just kind of struck by the fact that I must have thought 13 years in the future was just so far distant that all of those things would magically happen.
20 years in the future now at 31 I can safely look back and see that not even one of those things actually happened (except that I do have a checkbook that I use to pay my child's monthly tuition to a pre-school and tithing to my religion and I have a visa to take money from a checking account to buy food and the occasional frivolity). I think I finally passed math 97 and got my diploma when I was 29.
I broke my leg 8 years after that paper was written and pretty much sealed my dancing fate instantly. I was lumbering around the dirty streets of Honduras in a flowered dress from Costco when I was 24 speaking bad Spanish and hating my Guatemalan companion (I mean having many differences of opinion with her, of course not hatred right?) I did marry someone who has a good profession and provides well for the family. I guess that's the most important of all the things so it's not that bad but what a colossal DORK I was.
I love how I said "the Lady at the Limited" because to me she was a lady and not a girl because I was a girl...she was this old lady with a job and a checkbook...
amazing. the girls in stores are so young looking now.

I just spent the morning being the mom on Little House on the Prairie. She always had this basket of 'mending' to do whenever she sat down.
I had 2 princess dresses, a sweater and a little purse to fix while we watched the Swan Princess this morning.
A productive way to sit and do nothing while actually doing something.
Also my dad brought the piano that I played all growing up so I could have it in my house now. That made for a nice family home evening when I could play the piano to our standard fare 'as I have loved you' and 'twinkle, twinkle' and 'I am a Child of God'
I wish I had oreo cakesters.
or maybe I wish I had never tasted them at all...

Wednesday, April 09, 2008

a.m. woe

it is a scientific fact that blog posts with pictures sell more than those without. there are pictures in this post...wait for it...

I am very tired. I have what is commonly known as a child in morning preschool. It starts at 9 which isn't actually very early but then there is the 30 minutes to eat 1/2 cup of cereal with milk and the 20 minutes of picking out, putting on or not putting on and then crying about it of the shoes. Then, this morning the plastic juice bottle I make juice in fell on the floor and burst lemonade all over the floor. This means that for a 9am appointment, we have to be awake at LEAST by 7:30 to have it all go correctly...today I was awake at 8:10...this is why things didn't go correctly.

I love sales. I am no respector of sales. Every sale is beautiful in my eyes...a sale at Nordstrom, a sale at DI a sale at Smith's a sale at Family Dollar...well, maybe not Family Dollar...I've tried..it's just gross in there. But the word sale makes me very glad indeed. I saw in the Sandy City paper that there was going to be a women's and children's and maternity sale at the hilltop United Methodist Church to benefit women't charities in the area. Sure, ok, yeah, help people...SELL STUFF!. Anyway so I called these people because I am an equal opportunity multi-religional proponent of sales. I asked them if I could be a 'seller' at their sale and they said, "wait, let me get back to you" and then they said, "yes...you are seller number 387".
i am seller number three hundred and eighty seven out of 150 sellers. I don't know how the Methodists count but there has to be something more to it than numerical order. Anyway, this is so great and I will tell you why.
1. They only take really excellently preserved/almost new clothes which is all we have here since we have too many clothes and we only wear them a little bit and also I have been about 5 sizes in the last 3 years.
2. It is the 14th year of the sale and people come from everywhere to go to it and it has a reputation for being a nice, quality sale....hence, many of my stuffs will be sold because I have nice, quality stuffs.
3. The sellers get 70% and the needy people get 30%. enough said.
You can charge more than a yard sale and you're getting paid and helping people and cleaning closets and, well, let's just say, seller 387 IS READY TO GET PAID!
it is friday and saturday at the hilltop methodist church in Sandy if you want gently used stuff for folks in your life.

that's all about that.

Let's move on to the next thing. This is a picture of me and my (green aura'd) friend Cindy at my wedding. This is a fine picture and everything but I am obsessed with my arms...my arms were thin. Why is it that the arms must betray you so early in life? that and the neck...the neck is a 30 something nemesis too.


This is a picture of the house down the street from me where Sharon and Lewi are moving in a few months to be our candle on the water till every wave is warm and bright and so forth. We like to think that we will be some kind of flicker on the water for them too in some heretofore undiscovered way.


This is what Dellah looks like in the bathroom wearing a yellow feathery shirt which gets feathers all over everything. I don't have a real reason for posting this other than the reason I often use....I am so sick of her right now I'll just admire her all silent and cute in this photo. I'm not even joking...she's on my last nerve. I love Dellah but she makes me confront all my flaws on an hourly basis and it's just too much sometimes.

I have to go and give the little beggars Raisin bran which they won't eat and eat something myself like a cupcake maybe. Also I want to buy that Rosetta Stone language learning software to learn French...Gabriel doesn't quite understand this I don't think...I NEED TO LEARN FRENCH, PEOPLE! I just can't die without knowing it.
I am having tacos for dinner.
last night I had stroganoff.
tomorrow I will have chimichangas.
I'm working on domesticating myself. It hurts.

Thursday, April 03, 2008

up and at'em

I always thought this was up and ADAM but I've recently noticed that it is up and at'em which makes a little more sense. There are a lot of things that I am realizing in this 31st year of my life that have given me clarity. Like the real words to some Journey songs and most people are just as scared of you as you are of them or sometimes even more so which is very enlightening indeed.

MOVIE UPDATE...
I am the last person to see Dan in Real Life on the planet but I loved it. Come on now, Steve Carrell...how does he do it? so endearing.

Martian Child...so cute I cried like 4 1/2 times. Anything where John AND Joan Cusack are cast together is automatically so good.

Note to the secret service...with our cable you have to call the place or go online to buy pay-per-view movies...except at our house where all you have to do is press the button that says 'buy' and you just get it for free...we've gotten a bill and the 3 movies we've pressed buy for haven't shown up...we called one time for a movie and that one showed up....people.
this is a beautiful thing.
when they stop showing We Own the Night and No Country for Old Men it will be even better.
Don't tell anyone we are accidentally stealing movies it just kind of happens.

Today was Dellah's un-birthday at her school because school ends June 3 and her b-day is the 4th. She doesn't understand in the least degree why today with all the singing and gift giving and cupcakes is not her actual birthday and I am totally tempted to go with it and just skip the June one but I have to stand amazed at the contentment level of the Sanchez 3 year olds. They spent 3 days carrying around these little Martha Stewart kids magazines picking out their perfect party colors and cupcake decorations and whatever and then, last night they went to sleep and I made some cupcakes with pink icing and a little lime green swirl in the center and Dellah woke up and was like, "YESSS, I am so happy I made these beautiful pink cupcakes and they are pink and pink is my favorite color and I love these cupcakes mom...mom you are the biggest princess mom ever. You are big and you are a princess." I just did whatever the heck I wanted and she thought she had made the whole thing up and it was perfect. I also needed that other comment, not the one about being big, the one about the princess thing because the other day, while combing her hair too hard, she said, "YOU ARE NOT A VERY GOOD MOMMY AND YOU ARE NOT A PRINCESS!" apparently to her, not being a princess is the worst dis you can throw at someone. She has no idea the tiara collection I had before she was any more than a glimmer in the world...me, not a princess...what a joke...i'm incognito presently..

This is she and Ruby playing musical chairs (or not) in Dellah's class today.


Monday I took my little tiny girl to her first day of real preschool in a real elementary school where she looked like a little key chain trinket among all those big tainted by the world, unwholesome 5 and 8 year olds.

I cried. I don't know why it's that cry thing whenever small people do something for the first time or the last time...
anyway, she's having her 30 day trial in the class to see if the teacher thinks she's 'special needs' enough to be in that special needs class. If not, I'm not sending her to preschool to be devoured by other kids and then pay $150/month for them to do it...we read a lot here in this house. She's bilingual...she's cute...her life won't be so bad if she just goes to kindergarten.

So, anyway, that's that for now.
up and at'em people, up and at'em.

Friday, March 28, 2008

the good thing about the end

this week is over. It's one of those ones where I didn't accomplish even one thing and it's over before I even got going good. I don't mourn it's passing...que te vaya bien semana fea!
It's probably not over since it's only 11:42 am but I'm over IT...that's more like it.
I have 75 cents in the bank. How does this happen? I think it is called Easter/family over for easter lunch/honey baked hams are $44.
Yesterday I had one of those days where I was like, I'm going to Ross and I'm going to return this dress that I bought for an Easter dress that I didn't wear because it was stupid but I don't have the receipt so i will just have to get something in it's place.
This is one of my favorite scenarios. inevitably the 'thing' that replaces the returned thing is somewhat more monies than the initial purchase....
I don't even care.
I now have 3 maybe four shirts that make me feel cute and I am rebelling against the fact that I only have $1 - 25cents =ridiculously poor for 2 more days! My nemesis, Visa took care of those shirts for me and I'm sure I will hear the recourse heard round the world from my spouse but I'm like...next time put some candy in my easter basket, d**n it! Then maybe I'd have $6 in my account because I didn't have to buy my own rock candy suckers and lindor truffles.
inhale.
exhale.
(whispering) My children are sitting on the floor letting a wind up rabbit bounce across an over sized copy of the Rainbow Fish book and they are collaborating and laughing....I am whisper-typing this so that my contentment vibe doesn't stray far enough from the screen for them to sense it and promptly start fighting AGAIN!
INHALE.
great.
that's really good.
You should really start feeling this in your calves now...
keep it up.
nice.

ode to my orphaned endorphins....I think I will title a collection of poems ode to my orphaned endorphins as a way to somehow explain to myself why I am in a neverending state of chubbiness despite all the frozen hot chocolate and Cinnamon Toast Crunch I eat. Maybe just one poem. Then the collection can be called 'confessions of someone who really likes sugar'.
mysterious.
I am veiled in mystery.
I am one of those girls that leaves a trail of diamond questions and perfumed assumptions about my wonderfulness when I leave the room.
or something.

Thursday, March 20, 2008

biting

how I hate biting. I don't know why children bite. I'm so glad most adults have stopped (Mike Tyson notwithstanding). I don't know when it comes to their mind that biting is going to solve all their woes.
it bites.
Scratching. Another feline quality exposed in smaller humans.
Kicking. Useful in soccer and swimming. Not so much among your peers unless you're a bucking bronco or a little donkey or something.

I just washed my hair in the sink because it was so gross and I just didn't have it in me to immerse myself in the whole shower. It was quite pleasant actually. Have you ever been that close to your sink? I noticed some scratches I didn't see before. Soft Scrub.

Have you ever had a husband who is not from this country and doesn't think easter baskets are important and you are from this country and you want an easter basket? problem.
I am not my own easter bunny people. isn't that just illegal or something?
question.
Have you ever had in-laws from a different country who have expressly in so many words vocalized the fact that they don't approve of you and then announce that they are coming to your state to visit....for TWO MONTHS!!!!?
I sincerely hope not. Especially if you have social anxiety and obsessive compulsive disorder and need anti-depressants in your everyday normal life with no semi-permanent house guests. Especially if you feel all your cooking powers have left you and everything you make tastes like poop and especially if you will be left alone with them fully expecting you to entertain them (I wish I really wish I were joking or even exaggerating) all day until their son gets home all the while making three meals a day. I don't even know if I am even mentally capable of thinking of three distinct things to eat all day. This is what I eat. Raising Bran. Vitamin water. 100 calorie packs of Sandies. Spaghetti with butter and parmesan cheese and if I am really feeling adventurous...grapes. I can repeat these things any number of times during the day. I don't use ingredients. I don't make more than one bowl of multiple dishes in a meal-like array. I AM NOT THAT KIND OF HOUSEWIFE, PEOPLE!!!
help me help me help me help me help me help help help help.............me.
It's not until may 10th.
I have a few more minutes.
My parents have an empty house down the street that they don't yet live in. Escape plan 1.
mostly I just obsess over stuff until it's like apocalyptic and then when it happens it's only mildly apocalyptic.
still.
YOU like me don't you? dear void? YOU think I need an easter basket that I didn't completely stock myself and you think a month in my 3 bedroom house is a lot don't you?
DON'T YOU?
you're my last hope obi wan voidnobi...

Tuesday, March 18, 2008

It's tuesday...that's martes...here in the neighborhood


Hard times, people. I feel my patience unraveling. I don't want it to. I totally know it's better to be calm and yet, here I am...Ruby slapping Dellah, Dellah biting her fingernails only to taste the 'no bite' stuff I put on them and be sent over the edge into screaming fits. Ruby's in time out actually kicking my bathroom door and Dellah is spitting on my carpet. Ruby can now come out of time out but she'd rather scream and tell me that now, NO, she doesn't want to leave time out. Only because now I want her too. Language fails them both...they'd rather scream. I'd rather run away. Far.....away. But then I go to jail for abandonment and I really like these people...just not right now. So I put this picture on my blog to remind me that they are not shape shifting monsters posing in human form...they are supposed to be these angel creatures with no guile and no accountability. Lucky them. I'm totally responsible for my feelings of retreat and my salivating wish that I was anywhere else. what are you gonna do, you know?
cheerio.

Sunday, March 16, 2008

FYI for those needing their GED

blog readability test

Movie Reviews



nice. I just tried this an hour ago and it was elementary school so I guess I've gotten more eloquent the last 60 minutes but I'll take it.

Saturday, March 15, 2008

mayhem and foolishness on Saturday

Part one.
Today was the fulfillment of every parent's dream; a reason to bribe and cajole your children for three months into doing what you want them to do. It was the Disney Princess Wishes on Ice. Gabriel was on the traxx after the opening night and saw all these little girls wearing their princess dresses. He said he thought we should get them some dresses so they could feel all special and happy and whatever. I thought about that for quite a while and I browsed the possibilities in every mercantile in my and several other zip codes. I came to the conclusion that I just couldn't do it. Oh, we have dress up clothes coming out the wazoo. We have superman and spiderman and tigers and ladybugs and ladies and turtles and flappers and white gloves and 12 pairs of plastic high heels but not a Disney specific dress in the bunch. And why would you go generic princess to a Disney princess event?
I wouldn't.
And then came the brainwave, halfway between the second target, the third wal mart, the first kid to kid and the only disney outlet store......PAJAMAS!!!!!!!!!
Every kids needs pajamas. Every girl loves princesses. Pajamas are engineered for comfort. Pajamas can be found with Princesses on them.
I don't think I have to say more but let me just tell you.
I had it narrowed down to a chartreuse pair and a pink pair that the girls actually picked and had bought the long sleeved coordinating t's to go underneath since it's not warm out and they were short sleeved. Stay with me.
So I'm milling around wal-mart which is where I finally ended up and after my 11th pass through the baby/kids part I see this lavender revelation....because it had long sleeves and must be put on clearance because we are forced to look at and buy summer things when it's snowing out just because it's March, It wasn't with the regular pajamas. And yet, there it was with the ugly generical onesies and dora the explorer nonsense that no one wanted from christmas.....
FOR FIVE DOLLARS!!!!!
Now they are 18 months size but I am totally and completely ALL about kids wearing stuff until it won't even go over their heads anymore and they can't reach out in front of themselves without ripping a seam. My 3 year olds are wearing 0-3 month pants as capris and 6-9 month dresses as shirts. So there you are. No undershirts needed. Five dollars. Two of the exact same thing so we don't have to hear any of the lip and No toddlers trudging around downtown with plastic high heels and blisters.
So we have these comfy kids and we're riding the traxx which is always fun and we get to the arena and I just want to make it clear to you.....
FOOLISHNESS people........I have never in my life seen such foolishness. I am apologizing here for offending the people who bought the $20 light up wands and the $12 snow cones and the $10 cotton candy but I am not saying a thing to those people who had taken their toddlers to the hair salon and were carrying babies that couldn't even walk yet wearing so much tulle I was having severe discomfort just looking at them not to mention wondering how much money these people had spent while the 300,000th Cinderella with the curled up-do was walking by with a light up wand and a snow cone and a flounder the fish hat and a $5 program while their dad was holding the huge kettle corn and the drink and the ice cream and the twizzlers.
I want you to think I'm joking. That's what makes it such foolishness.
Anyway, we had good seats and like a complete dork I start crying right when the lights turn off and my breath catches in my throat and I'm like, 'I love the arts...I love America....I love Disney Princesses...I love five dollar pajamas.'


This is Jasmine being hurled in the air holding her leg in a split which I don't even understand still. And many more things of that nature happened making the whole thing worth seeing
.
So my children are now in bed wearing their memento of the day (because they can because their cute nightgown shirts are now just nightgowns) without any glowly wandy thing that would have broken on the way home and, actually now that I'm listening...they're totally not asleep...never mind. At least I can't see them.

part two.

I saw Penelope again last night. I should stop. I just can't help the prettiness and there were girls going that I like so I had to. but I really need to stop the Penelope sickness obsession.

Part three

It's a full on blizzard and I just put my orange all-weather Tommy Bahama rug on my back porch...now it's a white, frozen mat of winter and and I can't bring it in or even move it. That b better be all-weather is all I'm saying.
Part Four

I made one of those junior high mix cd's for our pediatrician of all these songs in Spanish that I like a lot and I brought it to Dellah's appointment yesterday like, "HI..here's some music I made for you and a card..." He likes boys so I told him I tried to pick cute boys singing good songs in Spanish in case he wanted to look them up later on the internet. I felt strangely like a weird stalker girl even though he's my friend and then it occured to me that I had never made a mix cd for anyone. It's sort of stressful, right? Whatever you put on it is sort of rating your coolness factor....but Dr. Bancroft doesn't speak Spanish so he'll probably just continue thinking I'm nice. And why do I care because I'm married and he doesn't even like girls!

thanks for the memories...

Wednesday, March 05, 2008

attention

I am now going to have a moment of silence for the movie 'Penelope' and James McAvoy in general but especially in the movie 'Penelope' ....







thank you for your participation. There was not even a single thing that I didn't like about the movie Penelop except Christina Ricci who was the star of it. Some people in the theater were like, "oh, she looks cuter with the pig nose" and I was thinking, exactly! That's it! The problem with her is that her nose is disproportionately small for her face.
Enough about that. The room she lives in and the clothes she wore and the town and the comedy that was so subtle and smart and the James McAvoy were all so o.t.h (off the hook)
seriously.
so good. I want a red tree in my room and a swing and a better than Anthropologie wardrobe. Green Mary Janes. Must have them.
I then stayed at the movie theater after the 8:25 Penelope for the 10:15 Other Boleyn Girl.
eh.
I have to say I thought I liked Natalie Portman before but I liked Scarlett Johanson so much more. That girl was so pretty.
I much prefer Jonathon Ryes Meyers any time of the day for Henery the 8th...Eric Bana has this weak chin which makes me not trust him.
unlike James McAvoy.
I love Gabriel very much. Movies are just different fake story like of people. I fake story like James McAvoy mucho.
that's all. I have to wash grapes now for my fruit bats.

Monday, March 03, 2008

I'm like the most handiest person ever.

First of all, I would like to draw my readership's attention (being full aware that I don't even have a readership so this is mostly just congratulating myself) to the totally long line of linkage there to your right. I DID IT!! How long have I had this blog? Like almost 3 years? And the only 3 little things over there were done by Marsha at a party like 2 years ago. I don't know how to organize them alphabetically but I received a vision the other night of how to make these little links and, like a good Christian, I immediately came to 'template land' and succeeded. I love little visions.
Now that you are dumbfounded by my electronical prowess, let me draw your attention to the fact that I just washed my walls. I don't even know what's wrong with me because I have this huge headache and I'm hungry and I'm walking around with my new Clorox Green Solutions bottle washing all the walls. I washed the little parts of my windows where the window closes and it's always full of sheesh. I used ten thousand hundred paper towels which totally defeats the purpose of buying Clorox Green products but, you know what...eat it. I'm addicted to paper towels.
Also I just played parque (park) with my children which means that a parental figure donates their body to the cause and small children romp around all over me and want me to flip them and throw them and jostle them happily for and hour or something. Mostly I think that fathers need to be the primary bread winning parks because I just have other stuff to do but their little street urchin faces were all anticipatory and their little princess dresses were all cutely disheveled and I caved.
So now I feel as though I have exercised on top of all the other productivity I have produced with many productive products as a result.
There was this epoch in my life where all these people were like, "you look like Milla Jovovich." and I was like...'thanks'
Now she has a line at Target and I use Clorox products and no longer get told that I look anything like her....
'two roads diverged in a yellow wood and sorry I could not travel both....and that has made all the difference', right Robert? that's what I thought.
They have found me. Crap.
I am now being pulled and hit and pounded with small doctor instruments by Ruby who is yet to even say a single word so I have no idea what she's even on about at all. She's just all screamy and annoying and I thought They didn't know I was up here.
So now I have to be the Doctor because for some reason it's just so much fun when I fake take their temperature and fake listen to their pulse and fake look in their ears with fake plastic doctor paraphernalia....
But wait..
I can add this to my list of accomplishments.
....did not completely go out of my mind all the way yet and it's a whole 12:57pm...
I need seriously really and honestly need a jamba juice. not a very big one. just a jamba juice and a salad from Cafe Rio and a creme horn from Wal Mart....
i totally deserve it.
like totally.

Saturday, March 01, 2008

sabado is saturday

It has been a week filled with the surreal. listed in reverse from most recent they are.
1. I just looked out my bedroom window to see my husband pulling out of the driveway in a white BMW but he had to stop for the other white BMW that was passing to get to its home down the street.
2. I went to Meridian Title Company yesterday and signed the words 'Sharon Tuttle by Erin Elaine Sanchez her attorney in fact' about 5000 times and now my parents are my neighbors.
3. I somehow spent $400 yesterday (which is, by the way just shy of all the money that I have for these two weeks) on food! (and some body wash and that Eckhart Tolley book that everyone's peeing themselves over to see if it's the shiz or not. I'll be the judge of that.
4. I woke up reluctantly on Thursday to find that Gabriel was working from home. Then I got my offspring dressed and we went to take Dellah to pre-school. As we approached the school there was an eerie lack of mile long line of parents in SUV's waiting to pick up their small children. There were no lines. There was no one. There was no school thursday. I would know this if my child were not a hoarder and didn't stuff papers and school calendars and bits of string and hair clips into strange and very small places where i find them weeks or months later which doesn't help me on thursday not to look like an idiot and doesn't help me period in the feeling that I have sufficiently passed OCD to an innocent child who is really alarmingly strange.

I think that's enough. I only got back 3 days and I can't remember wednesday and tuesday and it's all starting to freak me out anyway.
Freaky like the fact that I haven't really ever been a chocolate person at all, I'm more of a hard sugar/rock candy/blow pop person and lately I am completely engulfed in my need to eat see's candy and hershey's kisses. What is going on! I can't even help it. I'm chubby and I can't even help it. I have zits and I can't even stop myself. My hair is so ugly it makes me want to throw up all over the mirror and my pants are tighter and I'm like, BRING ON THE CHOCOLATE!
I have a problem.
Another freaky thing is that I cleaned out all my clothes the other week and got rid of about 123 pounds of clothing and shoes and decided that I would be my own Stacey London and get rid of all my little old navy zip up hoodie things which all happened to be black. And now what am I doing? well, people, now I am wearing my husbands boy zip up hoodie which is navy and too big and I'm wondering why I thought I was never going to ever be casual again with two toddlers and no housekeeper. Again. Self Sabbotage 101. Never expect too much of yourself people...it's just mean when you're cold in your house and you're not wearing your own hoodie. I don't care if navy is the new black, I want my hoodie.
The weather took a turn for the British today it looks like. I hope we get one more little snow and then let that be that. It's all been fine and stuff but when winter is over it's just over and i am over IT. Plus, then Snoasis can reopen and I can begin my warm weather addiction of shaved ice which makes me feel better than chocolate because it's technically just $3 water and you can wear short sleeves.
aaaaannnndddd....now it's raining.
I guess this is what saturdays are for. sitting. waiting for your spouse to return with your bag of easter wrapped hershey kisses because you just ran out of the valentine's wrapped ones and watching rain trickle all over stuff.