Yesterday I met Andi at the Gateway mall and we walked around in the sun and snow with 4 children. Consumerism with children is not for the faint of heart...especially in Anthropologie and j. jill where you get looked at like a special kind of leper if you bring strollers and children who scream and run...it was good to be with Andi and sit in the food court and talk about stuff. I realized that if I did things like that more often, I mean things with adults from yesteryear, then I would feel a lot more like life is the party I'm pretty sure it is on some level.
Then I went to enrichment last night where, for some reason, I felt compelled to wear this ultra clingy dress with slits up the sides and a scoop neck that I had no business wearing and then I put a little sweater thing over it and my leggings with no feet and my cute flats with the bow...who even knows what I must have looked like (probably the girl that didn't get the memo that you shouldn't have back fat or belly fat to wear that dress) but I actually felt good about myself like, 'yeah...that's right...I own this dress and I wear it and I look cute, ok?' I think that's something good about me. I have always worn things that I wanted to wear even when they didn't make obvious sense but I feel good and then I look good.
They were celebrating the 164th birthday of the RS and we actually sang happy birthday to it which, for me, was where I had to draw the line but we listened to some sisters honor the elderly ladies in our ward (I know, the median age in our ward is actually 64 years old but these were the REALLY old ones) and I was just amazed at the 15 years spent in missions from one lady and the 13 children of another and the PhD in education from this woman who is just frail and tiny and sister Daines who was wearing THE actual dress that she wore after her wedding 76 years ago and the necklace that her husband gave her BEFORE they got married (this amazing art deco crystal bauble)....basically I left after having cake and thought, if I can even make it to 94 years old (which I sincerely hope I don't before Jesus comes back) and be even nearly as cool as these ladies, I will have done something really good. They honored 10 women and all of them said (which I thought was interesting) that forgiveness means forgetting and we cannot be happy without the forgetting... I started thinking how many times in almost 100 years you would have to forgive and forget in order to even stay sane...I'm glad I went.
I was supposed to teach the home school little girls in my building ballet this morning like I do every other thursday only this morning I was so tired it was just not going to happen so I thought I would just avoid the subject and disappoint everyone and not care and then I woke up 10 minutes before I was supposed to go and felt that guilt when you know you're a jerk and there was a message from one of the moms saying they were going to cancel the class because Sariah was sick....yessssss....don't you just love when you are a slacker but you don't look like THE slacker because someone else did something slackerish first? I love that. So, I'm still in my night gown and have decided that my preferred outfit is somewhere between heels and a clingy dress and a nightgown...or maybe both. what should I make for dinner? I haven't made dinner in so long it's like a crime...one of the ladies last night was like, "I have learned that every meal I made for my family my whole life was part of me and an expression of love that we could all share in"...I felt like poop...
it's just so hard to think of something to make every day and then timing it just right and man...sheesh.
Oh, the funniest thing I heard on the view this morning was that someone said how much the public likes looking at fashion on the red carpet because it's on real women with real bodies instead of on the runway on human hangars....oh...and all this time I was thinking the movie stars were unhealthy and too skiny and now they're NORMAL? what? I am more and more convinced that famous people actually just fly in from another planet to say stupid things like that because the rest of us would never even think of saying something that dumb.
dellah is expressing angst from her crib by banging on the wall with her foot...i guess she's awake. duty calls.
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