how I hate biting. I don't know why children bite. I'm so glad most adults have stopped (Mike Tyson notwithstanding). I don't know when it comes to their mind that biting is going to solve all their woes.
it bites.
Scratching. Another feline quality exposed in smaller humans.
Kicking. Useful in soccer and swimming. Not so much among your peers unless you're a bucking bronco or a little donkey or something.
I just washed my hair in the sink because it was so gross and I just didn't have it in me to immerse myself in the whole shower. It was quite pleasant actually. Have you ever been that close to your sink? I noticed some scratches I didn't see before. Soft Scrub.
Have you ever had a husband who is not from this country and doesn't think easter baskets are important and you are from this country and you want an easter basket? problem.
I am not my own easter bunny people. isn't that just illegal or something?
question.
Have you ever had in-laws from a different country who have expressly in so many words vocalized the fact that they don't approve of you and then announce that they are coming to your state to visit....for TWO MONTHS!!!!?
I sincerely hope not. Especially if you have social anxiety and obsessive compulsive disorder and need anti-depressants in your everyday normal life with no semi-permanent house guests. Especially if you feel all your cooking powers have left you and everything you make tastes like poop and especially if you will be left alone with them fully expecting you to entertain them (I wish I really wish I were joking or even exaggerating) all day until their son gets home all the while making three meals a day. I don't even know if I am even mentally capable of thinking of three distinct things to eat all day. This is what I eat. Raising Bran. Vitamin water. 100 calorie packs of Sandies. Spaghetti with butter and parmesan cheese and if I am really feeling adventurous...grapes. I can repeat these things any number of times during the day. I don't use ingredients. I don't make more than one bowl of multiple dishes in a meal-like array. I AM NOT THAT KIND OF HOUSEWIFE, PEOPLE!!!
help me help me help me help me help me help help help help.............me.
It's not until may 10th.
I have a few more minutes.
My parents have an empty house down the street that they don't yet live in. Escape plan 1.
mostly I just obsess over stuff until it's like apocalyptic and then when it happens it's only mildly apocalyptic.
still.
YOU like me don't you? dear void? YOU think I need an easter basket that I didn't completely stock myself and you think a month in my 3 bedroom house is a lot don't you?
DON'T YOU?
you're my last hope obi wan voidnobi...
8 comments:
1. biting is a special way to say, i'm frustrated, apparently at our house, as well.
2. you deserve an easter basket, should i email or call gabriel about this?
3. in-laws coming to stay...quite a quandry..i'm not even going to venture, i may not have the strength, because i feel that they are very rude to you and i don't want you to have to go through that.
4. you are great.
5. try the taquitos at pickypalate.blogpost.com or anything from there. they are great!
you will make it. call me if you need some encouragement, i'll do my best!
2 ideas. 1. We have an extra bed in Henry's room. 2. Adam and I sleep in different rooms right now because he snores and I wake up to his snoring and so on the one condition that you don't snore, there is also a vacancy in my bed. Come on down! Wish you could...
You deserve multiple easter baskets and people who adore you to pieces.
Biting: oh, you just have to live through the ORAL phase of child development as the whomever "expert" says... then you get to deal with the anal phase... you might need to invest in more soft scrub then...
In laws: I remember when they came to visit you at the Brigham for 2 weeks and that made you stress...but 2 months?! YIKES! That is a long time! I think I remember you saying that they did lots of cooking of yummy food and it wasn't as caustic as you thought... But it seemed like you also borrowed some house space from Andrea (or something)... totally take up your own personal sanctuary in Henry's room.... :)
Have you ever done freezer meals before? Or you could always invest in my girlfriends kitchen nonsense... check it out: mygirlfriendskitchen.com
You will definitely need more moral support to offset any offhanded comments that make you feel less of a person or a homemaker... etc. BLOG BLOG BLOG and your great void will do its best to help...
Oh dear. Isn't there another child in the SLC area where they can perch?
How about we take you guys to dinner next week and we can talk you off the cliff? (call me.)
hi erin-
i wish i lived closer and i would come over and help you make a dozen or so frozen casseroles and such- they are a lifesaver for me when i need to appear domestically capable. which is a far cry from my normal state... and by far cry i mean maybe another hemisphere. or at least take you out for some retail therapy, all the friends i have out here are light weights when it comes to shopping. i send you good wishes for it all and a mental dark european chocolate bunny. (no one got me one either- though i intend to go to target later today and pick up a couple on clearance).
i won't pretend to be able to give you advice on this. but i HEAR you. when my inlaws or other's from ryan's family stay with us i obsesively worry about the same thing. i get really anxious cooking for them, mostly because that is how a woman is defined in their family. if you don't cook delicious beautiful food and wait on the men sitting in the living room watching tv, you are pretty much worthless and should probably just get a job outside the home to contribute. luckily ryan does not feel exactly the same way, but i think he wishes my domestic abilities came more naturally. my only answer would be: costco. get all those almost ready meals and those special soups they have. soups make great lunches, right?
on another note: i think we need to get together. i have so many things i want to talk to you about. for one, marsha told me you have some great people who do all your painting. and another: bmw's. and another: ladies who come by and clean your house for you.
erin--first, i was talking to dave just two hours ago about how even though i haven't read your blog very often, i love it and that you are such an amazing and talented writer and it's one of my favorites ever. and i'm so glad you linked us because i felt kinda creepy reading and liking your blog so much, so now i can openly be creepy and like your blog so much. second, i got dizzy just reading about your inlaws coming and the whole cooking stress. my kids live on frozen waffles and fruit and seriously, i'm hyperventilating thinking about it and i know that doesn't help you one bit, but i'm just saying. third, you have the cutest girls in the world.
flarnk - thanks for the support and the website...pickyplate...got it. love you.
Aim - don't even think I'm not going to show up on your front stoop if things get rough...for Henry's room, obviously, not yours!
Angela - thanks for your loyalness and I wish that good experience that I had had with the Mexicans 2 years ago WAS my in-laws but it was Gabriel's mission companion and his wife and their two kids and HIS mother in law...that was way better than my situation and they were great cooks.
Andi - yeah, there's another brother here...in Eagle Mountain where they're going to stay for a month or so and then the other month with me although if my choices were Eagle Mountain i.e. nothing except mountains and houses and Sandy i.e. Erin lives in the parking lot of a Wal Mart, I think even I would want me even if I hated me.
Kelly - I'm not even sure if retail therapy is gonna cut it anymore...although i'm giving it my best shot! yesss...that's the ticket...clearance candy!!
Michelle - the reasons why we should hang out might be too numerous to list here in this comment box.
Brooke - Thanks for the comment. I'm glad you like reading my blog and I don't think you're creepy..I'm lurking around surfing all these blogs of people that don't know I'm watching them..tell Dave hi and YOU have the cutest girls!
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