lunes is monday

I am feeling a little melancholic today. I can't explain it but I think Dr. Oz would say I need some vitamin D. It is very cloudy. I felt I needed to come here and talk to the 'great dear void' and feel better afterward.
Yesterday I did two things that I didn't want to do but I did them anyway. #1 I asked my neighbor who's kids I have taken care of several times if she could take care of Dellah this morning for a little while while I took Ruby for a test. She said yes. It wasn't even that hard and my blood pressure returned to normal pretty much instantly so I think this whole connecting with humans and asking for help/being not able to do every single thing by myself has some merit. #2 Go to church. I wanted to sleep. That sounds so childish I know because I've been going to church every Sunday now for 20+11 years and I know I'm going to go so why do I do this but man, I just really wanted to sleep. Instead I went to referee for an hour, listen for an hour and teach a lesson on "our purpose in life" to a bunch of brooding or sleeping or despondent young women and left feeling glad I went. See, Erin...feel the fear (or dread) and do it anyway. If I didn't have health insurance that covered it, the therapy would totally be worth the money. Look at all I learned.

So I took Ruby to the Jordan School which is a place that looks like an elementary school and it probably could be called that but it's filled with little tiny wheelchairs outside all the classrooms and there are all these special chairs and rooms and equipment because it is for special needs kids. It's where all the therapists that work for the Jordan School District have their offices and where Ruby goes for a little 90 minute class once a week. She had her evaluation for pre-school to see if she was going to be subsidised by the state and be a special needs kid in a pre-school or if she was going to be like Dellah and be a 'non-delayed peer' in a class full of special needs kids. After two hours of watching her match the yellow with the red and the square with the circle and sit motionless when asked to pick up a block and hand it to the lady and not be able to tell the lady what kinds of things 'bark', I was either going to cry really hard or run away or need to drink a mountain dew of epic proportions. She qualified to go to the preschool and be one of the kids that need to be there with a special ed teacher which made me feel glad that she's getting some recognition and help and sad that she needs recognition and help. Sweet little Ruby. You know that poem called Winkyn, Blinkyn and Nod? Maybe not but it's kind of like a poem to read at bedtime about these children who go to fish for stars in the sky in a wooden shoe and it's pretty beautiful actually. Well Ruby knows the entire thing. She can say, "Where are you going and what do you wish, the old moon asked the three...we've come to fish for the herring fish that live in this beautiful sea...nets of silver and gold have we said, winkyn and blinkyn and nod." And she knows the whole thing, like 40 more lines that what I just wrote. Those are not 2 year old words to say and she says them. Things like that are confusing when some things are so good and others are non-existent....She's not rainman, she's totally functional there's just little holes...little frayed parts that make the whole fabric not so strong.
Enough about that.
They've been showing the Girl with the Pearl Earring on IFC every day for some reason and I am completely obsessed with watching it. I have seen it so many times already and I still keep watching it...It's Collin Firth I tell you....good grief. Also I rented the showtime series the Tudors and I was already in love with that time period in history and King Henry and his wives and daughters but the show is pretty amazing. I asked Gabriel if he were interested in paying $40 more a month than we already are so we can get that one channel and he seemed slightly negative on the issue..I guess I can understand that.
Maybe I've mentioned before that Gabriel drives the world's oldest Toyota Corolla which we are told used to be red and is now a very matte, very faded, magenta-ish color. It was $1,700 which is fine but we've had to fix it so much in the last year and it just really sucks so he's getting a new car. A BMW car. Now I'm not exactly sure how the physics of the whole thing works but I wanted to get a different car a while ago because I thought my domestic car was losing value and it was too big....we decided it wasn't a need so we would forgo the new car. Then his car has some legitimate problems I admit but, come on people, '89 Toyota to '02 BMW? Perhaps we can negotiate a little trade.....he used to work at a car dealership and he went back there to visit and they're giving him the car at cost which is actually probably cheaper than a new corolla or even a used one so it's ok....It just sounds so luxurious, right? Gabriel basically IS a BMW though...foreign...beautiful...stylish...efficient... so I suppose it's only right. But does that mean I'm a Pacifica? I think I am an MDX....most definitely.
Mostly I think that the car doesn't mean anything about who you are but be realistic now, if you had a choice, wouldn't you choose a nicer car if it were the same money as a not so nicer car? This means that we have to get rid of our nice Peruvian friend who came twice a month to clean our house which I had to clean when I got home because it really wasn't and take care of our kids by letting them sit in water but not applying soap or shampoo to them. That's ok. I feel better cleaning my own house and whatever else.
I bought myself several see's candies the other day and that was unwise to say the least. That key lime truffle is off the hook and the lemon one is not far behind. Not to mention the butter cream business that I just can't get enough of.
Ah, well....I'm smelling poop all the way in my room from some culprit who was supposed to be napping in theirs so I'll go attend to weightier matters.