Arise and sit down, oh Zion

I must stand and be recognized as a very inconsistant blogger (among other things). My name is Erin and I have undiagnosed ADD and diagnosed OCD and need an MD to figure it all out. The only things that remain constant through all things are mostly my gender and my marriage due mostly to the song "if you could hie to Kolob". Children are not included here because they are not always children but, often, beasts of the field and things that crawl upon the earth. Extremely unnerving how children are there one second and gone the next in the throws of body-snatching heathenistic screams and then back just as quickly to smile and ask for more goldfish cwakahs. I just sit down and take it, I tell you because I don't want to go to jail and I don't want to become a hiss and a byword among these same people in 20 years.
Let me expound for one moment on the gravity and severity of toddler diarreah. I don't even know how to spell it, it's so intensely (bowel) moving. Dellah literally exploded excrement from one corner of my once new home to the other. She would just stand there...just stand in one spot with no intention of moving and burst all over the floor. It finally got to the point where I threw clothes away rather than try and negotiate a way in my mind that I could touch them enough to get them clean. And then there was the throw up. There was throw up on my clothes and in my hair and hers. There was throw up for 3 days and my child only weighed 27 pounds at almost 4 years old before this. I have no idea how she survived unless she morphed into one of the afore mentioned wild animals who only eat like twice a month or something. If that clorox anywhere solid surface spray is just a marketing hoax it totally worked on me and two bottles of it that I used in that many days.
Now it is time to talk about a well known place in a little known neighborhood. DSW. It is a shoe store. It is pretty much like a glorified famous footwear with cute shoes for ok prices but nothing so spectacular you wet yourself. It is normal save the little room in back wherein lies the clearance. Clearance unlike any clearance you have ever seen. 80% off people. Shoes that were 80 pesos are now $16 and shoes that were $39 are $8. When you realize that it's not just the naturalizer square toe pumps and the blue hush puppy sandals with embroidered paislies but the Steve Madden and Tahari and BC and Diesel ones as well......well let me just tell you people...it is religious. Not all of them are 80% off. some are only 70% or 50% off but that doesn't lessen the thrill.
There is a DSW in Midvale very close to me on 7200 south....there is also one (and this is the epiphany)...at Daybreak! Perhaps you know this and you think, oh...it's just like the one in Midvale, I don't need to go.....uh, yes you do. This DSW is beautiful. It has dark carpets and a huge chandelier with little silver shoes hanging from it. It has huge 9 foot mahogany mirrors leaned effortlessly against the walls for admiring yourself and especially your feet parts. Also there is the most tidy Ross I have ever been to. (if you think that sounds impossible, I did too until I saw it myself). I think the goal is actually Gateway-esque out there. There's a Red Robin and the coolest looking Target on the earth and tons of stores that have nothing in them yet because it's new....I have been told that I could sell tampons to the menopausal so don't rush the 8 hours over to Daybreak unless you're already going so far west you can see California over the hill for some reason and you decide to stop by...I just thought I'd share my newest experience consumerally speaking. Four pairs of shoes people...four pars of shoes for $56.
I saw in my absence that I have been tagged by some associates of mine and so I will include the illuminating information about myself that you, I'm sure, have been literally losing sleep for lack of knowing.