yeah, it's been a year....so!

How strange to be here again. I have had the internet for a week now and pass the computer every day thinking, "yeah...I should write something" and then thinking, "yeah....that's overwhelming" and then keep on walking. I think you pass a certain point where it's just been a real long time and you don't know how to write stuff because there's too much stuff. I decided that I'll just write what's happened recently and the rest will just come out in subsequent posts like a far reaching enema to the past.

It's the screaming I can't handle. The screaming of little girls who inherited my volume and are scared or mad or frustrated or happy about every single thing in their lives. I seriously can't handle any more screaming. Sometimes I cry because I can't handle any more screaming and then my children smile because that is the sign of someone who couldn't care less how someone feels....oh, you're sad....that's funny....oh, I made you sad?.....that's even funnier-er.

that's enough of that. We moved. We live in this new house {in an undisclosed place so that no one comes to steal us} and we are happy.

We made sure we bought blinds for the windows before we moved in so we could have some priviacy but, all in all, we went from 700 sqare feet and three windows to 2100+ square feet and lots of windows which makes things really bright. My children who used to sleep until the 10am or heaven forbid, 9am are now waking up at 7am and, though I know other people wake up that early every day, I don't really know anyone who loves it...if they say they do they really don't. Anyway...hibernation has it's plusses...sometimes I miss the cave we came from. Mostly I miss feeling warm yummy love feelings for my children when I came to get them after sleeping until I could wake myself up. If I have to hear, "enjoy it...it goes by so fast" one more time I'm going to go by them really fast with my fist. It absolutely does not go by very fast in the present. It feels like a recurring out of body trip that is not altogether unpleasant but mostly really loud and messy and unorganized and bad for my sense of self esteem. Enough with your hindsight goes by really fast....sheesh..I love my babies so much it just doesn't go by fast, ok?

So I have a garage and a big trash can that we roll to the edge of the driveway on monday mornings and a door bell and a pantry and all that stuff.

This post is too long.

Yesterday in the wee hours when Dellah came to jump on my bed, I proposed that she should go to school. She said she wanted to go to school and then I said that people who go to school have to be able to go potty in the potty.(she is potty averse and thinks of every excuse never to go to the potty even though she is three years and two months old) To my astonishment she said, "yeah...Imonnagotooda poddy" and she went, sat down and peed. We put her ballet shoe bikini panties on which she calls "tannies" (homophone) and she went about 6 more times before we left for the day and she wore a diaper. We came home and she went more and this morning she comes in the room announcing that she needs to go poddy and wear her heart tannies. No accidents (if it were possible to have any going to the bathroom every 7 minutes just to flush and wash your hands). I have never spoken english to my children even one day in their lives and for some reason, Dellah speaks english 24/7 and thinks Ruby should too so Ruby is all messed up. Dellah says things like "I'm a big girl cause I gotooda poddy like a big girl cause I wear my tannies and I go to da poddy to do pee pee and liddle big poops" and Ruby says things like "yo gonna paper in la basura"...just pick a language already..at least she's talking...that's a huge step....Ruby is so cute it's a crime in a dozen countries.

I just got called to be the Laurel advisor in my ward...that's cool. And we're speaking in church sunday....that's okay.
I got some green flats yesterday...so cute. I mean soooo cute.
love love
erin