Friday, June 30, 2006

so here's the thing

So here's the thing. I shop at Wal Mart. I shop there and I go there and I like it. I save so much money and I get things I need and I like it. Here's another thing...I don't change my underwear every day and I come down here to the internet room while my children are sleeping sometimes and I'm totally ok with both of those things. Wanna know another thing? Sometimes when I'm out and I'm at the end of my rope and I need a coca-cola product and I don't feel like buying some kiddy orange fruity crap for my children....I pour coca-cola in their sippy cups and watch them chug away....I drink coca-cola and I like it.
yep
I do these things.
You know what else I do? I just chew gum sometimes instead of brushing my teeth because I JUST DON'T FEEL LIKE BRUSHING THEM!
Here's one. The other day I was in DI and some guy looked at me and my crying 2 year old and said, "Good G_D, Why don't you control your child!" to which I responded, "EX-CUUU-SSE ME, SIR? (to which he replied, 'you heard me') (to which I replied) WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU COULD CONTROL A TWO YEAR OLD WHEN THEY'RE CRYING? THANK YOU VERY MUCH FOR YOUR OPINION! (at the top of my lungs). After which I meandered around the store pretending to look at things while my blood returned to a simmer. You just absolutely SO DO NOT go there with me. I totally went hos on that dude (and no, he was not mentally challenged, however, testicularly remains in question).
I do my best, you know? I don't read fashion magazines because they make me feel bad about myself. I don't hang out with snobby people because they make me feel bad about myself. I don't read trendy parenting magazines telling you what Brad and Angelina's baby eats breakfast in because....you get the picture.
My new house is going to be built in the very same parking lot as a wal-mart....wal mart and lowe's actually and I'm pretty stoked. I can just ride my bike there to get milk at midnight.
and I like it.
you know what else? I totally want the refrigerator with the television in the door so that I can watch meaningless television when I eat cereal or make food. I love television.
I love sugar.
I love saturated fats.
I love carbohydrates in all their forms
I love meat
and I cry when I hear cheesy mormon songs on the Sounds of the Sabath.
I have back fat.
I have front fat.
I have grey hair.
I have mid-digital hair on my ring fingers.
It's possible I have toe fungus.
I only read my scriptures a few times a week.
I hardly ever make it to all three hours of church.
I hardly ever make it through the day without thinking something terrible or mean or cruel and probably saying it after I think it.
I love buying things and returning them and feeling like I have free money to buy something else.
that's the thing.
I just am all of these things and I just kind of always will be until I am like Jesus and that just has to be ok.
Sometimes I feel like people try to be someone they think they should be and I'm just too tired to do that. I'm too tired to make dinner. I'm pretty glad it's friday because I like fridays.
Tonight I am going to the movies with my friends because that's what friends do. Now I am going back upstairs because that's what mothers do.

4 comments:

Mauro_ said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Mauro_ said...

I was reading your blog, and I loved it.
I think that I love the supermarkets too.
There I can Find everything that I Need and I want :)
Take Care
Saludos from Chile

marshall p said...

I am in fucking love with you. If you weren't already married, I would marry you. Remember when that crazy bitch at D.I. asked me if I was pregnant? I think she must be married to that asshole who was mean to you.

I'm glad you have the balls to say what everybody does and thinks, but pretends isn't true about themselves.

did I mention how much I love you? at the risk of sounding like a gay... so much. seriously. I have middle digit hair on all my fingers. and pubic hair only a wookie could love. that's it, I'm now looking for a wookie.

emily said...

don't you think the thing is that everybody has this stuff, but the people who deny it or can't talk about it end up being kind of horrible people? what i'm trying to say is that your being aware of who you are and accepting it is wicked rad.

i pick my nose a lot because i hate buying kleenex.