i just wrote a very clever post and now it is erased. I'm sad.
Thursday, April 09, 2009
Thursday, April 02, 2009
what glue?
I have just come unglued at my children. both of them. Simultaneously. Now I have that guilt where I want to chop my face off and pour lemons all over it.
They're just soo.......
so......
ahhhhhhhrrrrggghghhh.
Just humor me.
Dellah now says things to Ruby like, "I wish you were never born" and "if you don't give me that toy I'm leaving you and never coming back".
she's 4.
NOBODY told me preschool and high school produced the same attitude problems.
So then there's Ruby who Heavenly Father actually spoke to before coming to our house and gave her some uncanny ability to care more about others than she does about herself (probly to safeguard her against all the animiocity people feel towards her for crying and whining 90% of her existence). Her mind thinks like this....'dellah is sad...there is something I can do to help her....by jove, I'm going to do whatever it takes to make her happy!' 'dellah wants the Belle paper doll because she just tore the arm off of the Cinderella paper doll that she was pouting about having to play with in the first place and she already has a Belle paper doll but with plastic clothes instead of magnetic ones so I guess she really wants mine...I'll take the Cinderella with one arm like Dellah is telling me to and be happy with that because I am an angel and I worship a false god named Dellah.
'
heartbreaking really.
So, of course, the equality activist that I am does not allow me to watch this injustice 2 feet from me and not make a comment something like, "who in the world do you think you are? if you went to school and acted like this no one would want to be your friend. Ruby is a better friend to you than you are to her and you never ever ever ever ever think of anyone but yourSELF! when Jesus sees things like this He feels so sad because he always thought of others...." that's right, I threw the Jesus card out there. 'what happened to the Dellah that used to be so fun to be around? you're just grumpy and pouty and mean! why are you mean?!"
I just can't understand that much selfishness. It's about everything. snacks, toys, movie choices, pajama choices and Ruby always lets Dellah win. I feel it is my duty to make Dellah understand that nobody else but Ruby will ever be that cowtow-ing to her, especially not me.
Dellah has mad talents and qualities that I admire but this stinky trait almost overpowers them all.
Then of course after I played Ruby's advocate it was time for quiet time so I asked them to help clean up the paper dolls and put them in their respective places. Dellah helped because Dellah always is helpful and Ruby sat and ignored me and sang and played and laughed at me when I told her more firmly (almost yelling but not yet...) to stop wallowing on the carpet and come help clean her mess....
she kept laughing and at that point I did what any prideful, self-important, unhumble, lame parent would do....
"OH NO YOU DI'IN JUST LAUGH IN MY FACE WHILE I'M TRYING TO TALK TO YOU, STAND UP AND GET OVER HER RIIIIGGGHHHTT NOWWWWWW! RUUUUBBYYYY....RIIIIGHHHT NOWWWWW!
i suck. I should know that at 2:30 every day we need to disburse to our own rooms before the carriage is a pumpkin and we all fall apart.
I should get that they are small and they want to see what all they can get away with and let them live and have consequences quietly given to them with a calm, unfeeling voice filled with remorse for their bad choices and what must now come to pass....I should be Claire Huckstable but i am just erin.
I get it.
it's just so hard to doooooooooo!
moving on.
I got $130 of groceries at Albertson's today for $57. I saved something like $70 with coupons and in store promotions. I even got a five dollar shopping voucher for buying 5 boxes of our favorite cereal....
in sane.
there is a high associated with buying cheep food very much akin to the high achieved by finding Oilily or Catimini or Petit Batteau at DI for $1....scarily similar and one might even say, more productive on the whole than buying clothing for children that i so obviously am yet to conceive and probably shouldn't even think about because of the caliber of mom-ness I am currently producing...everyone has to eat, right?
All of this coupon saving has almost inspired me to want to cook things.
at least I have a list of things I would ideally like to cook this next week if all goes well.....which it sometimes doesn't....
now it's on to Target for more funtimesavings and inevitable things for myself that always hop into Target carts unannounced but not uninvited.
"Terrible mother saves big money at the grocery!"
I know that's not gonna fly with saint Peter. i got to pray just to make it to day...please Hammer don't hurt um...
They're just soo.......
so......
ahhhhhhhrrrrggghghhh.
Just humor me.
Dellah now says things to Ruby like, "I wish you were never born" and "if you don't give me that toy I'm leaving you and never coming back".
she's 4.
NOBODY told me preschool and high school produced the same attitude problems.
So then there's Ruby who Heavenly Father actually spoke to before coming to our house and gave her some uncanny ability to care more about others than she does about herself (probly to safeguard her against all the animiocity people feel towards her for crying and whining 90% of her existence). Her mind thinks like this....'dellah is sad...there is something I can do to help her....by jove, I'm going to do whatever it takes to make her happy!' 'dellah wants the Belle paper doll because she just tore the arm off of the Cinderella paper doll that she was pouting about having to play with in the first place and she already has a Belle paper doll but with plastic clothes instead of magnetic ones so I guess she really wants mine...I'll take the Cinderella with one arm like Dellah is telling me to and be happy with that because I am an angel and I worship a false god named Dellah.
'
heartbreaking really.
So, of course, the equality activist that I am does not allow me to watch this injustice 2 feet from me and not make a comment something like, "who in the world do you think you are? if you went to school and acted like this no one would want to be your friend. Ruby is a better friend to you than you are to her and you never ever ever ever ever think of anyone but yourSELF! when Jesus sees things like this He feels so sad because he always thought of others...." that's right, I threw the Jesus card out there. 'what happened to the Dellah that used to be so fun to be around? you're just grumpy and pouty and mean! why are you mean?!"
I just can't understand that much selfishness. It's about everything. snacks, toys, movie choices, pajama choices and Ruby always lets Dellah win. I feel it is my duty to make Dellah understand that nobody else but Ruby will ever be that cowtow-ing to her, especially not me.
Dellah has mad talents and qualities that I admire but this stinky trait almost overpowers them all.
Then of course after I played Ruby's advocate it was time for quiet time so I asked them to help clean up the paper dolls and put them in their respective places. Dellah helped because Dellah always is helpful and Ruby sat and ignored me and sang and played and laughed at me when I told her more firmly (almost yelling but not yet...) to stop wallowing on the carpet and come help clean her mess....
she kept laughing and at that point I did what any prideful, self-important, unhumble, lame parent would do....
"OH NO YOU DI'IN JUST LAUGH IN MY FACE WHILE I'M TRYING TO TALK TO YOU, STAND UP AND GET OVER HER RIIIIGGGHHHTT NOWWWWWW! RUUUUBBYYYY....RIIIIGHHHT NOWWWWW!
i suck. I should know that at 2:30 every day we need to disburse to our own rooms before the carriage is a pumpkin and we all fall apart.
I should get that they are small and they want to see what all they can get away with and let them live and have consequences quietly given to them with a calm, unfeeling voice filled with remorse for their bad choices and what must now come to pass....I should be Claire Huckstable but i am just erin.
I get it.
it's just so hard to doooooooooo!
moving on.
I got $130 of groceries at Albertson's today for $57. I saved something like $70 with coupons and in store promotions. I even got a five dollar shopping voucher for buying 5 boxes of our favorite cereal....
in sane.
there is a high associated with buying cheep food very much akin to the high achieved by finding Oilily or Catimini or Petit Batteau at DI for $1....scarily similar and one might even say, more productive on the whole than buying clothing for children that i so obviously am yet to conceive and probably shouldn't even think about because of the caliber of mom-ness I am currently producing...everyone has to eat, right?
All of this coupon saving has almost inspired me to want to cook things.
at least I have a list of things I would ideally like to cook this next week if all goes well.....which it sometimes doesn't....
now it's on to Target for more funtimesavings and inevitable things for myself that always hop into Target carts unannounced but not uninvited.
"Terrible mother saves big money at the grocery!"
I know that's not gonna fly with saint Peter. i got to pray just to make it to day...please Hammer don't hurt um...
Wednesday, April 01, 2009
catrachos
Hondurans are called 'Catrachos' and Costa Ricans are called 'ticos', Guatemalans are called 'Chapines' .....i don't even know why. what are Americans called?....jerky? fat? crass? smelly? we should think of another little charming word that the world can refer to us by.....cantcatchus?, toocuties? or just go the route of the central Americans and have a nonsense word...rarakis?
I ponder these things as I sit in front of my large television beside my husband who is extremely enamored by soccer as per his Mexican-ness. Mexico is playing Honduras. I love me some Honduras so it's a bit of a toss up here. Mother land of my husband or mission land of my corazon....
it's all fun and games until the game actually starts and then it's like, 'there he went....que te vaya bien...you could try to talk to him about something or ask for his help (if you were his child) and he would appear to be in the room with you but he is actually playing soccer on a far away grassy field called 'winding down after work'
Upon sensing that I must have been complaining about his inattention to mountain standard time to the great void, Gabriel just leaned over and gave me a smooch and said, "this shows you how much i love you, Mexico is playing and I am looking at you"
that's over now. Honduras just scored and there were several technical mistakes that now have to be illuminated.....and he thinks their uniforms are not cool because they have an H on them because they are from Honduras....even though H's as a rule are silent and not pronounced at all in Spanish....
moving on.
I have recently begun to think that I should be saving hundreds of dollars a month to spend on myself by becoming undeniably and heartbreakingly frugal and coupon-ish and responsible with the money I get bi-weekly....i have found a new obsession.....clipping along the little dotted lines of the little coupons with some really sharp scissors.....sccccchhhhhp, sccccccchhhhpp......so beautiful....and then there are the little newsprint ones where your scissors slide when they're in that perfect open-ness position and you just feel so efficient....so productive....so frugal!!!
I'm in my pajamas from yesterday at 8pm today and I never left the house and I didn't clean anything although I did make some dinner (in the rice cooker)....
i did clip coupons though, people. I made serious plans to be very financially responsible in the coming days....Barbies are 50% off at KMart and Crayola is buy one get one free at ToysRUs.....you know, just the staples....bare essentials for these hard times....
Nordstrom Rack opens tomorrow 5 minutes from my front door.
there are bright spots in the haze...
I seemed to have remembered that 'Farewell My Concubine' was a pretty, while tragic, film from my days with the International cinema at BYU that was worth the while.....yeah....I'm lucky there weren't any straight razors or revolvers around when that got over. and no it's not naughty you naughty people...that's the name of a famous Peking opera like 'Carmen' or something for us.
The movie that was pretty stunning visually is new to Blockbuster this week called, Azur and Asmar the Prince's Quest...it's animated and rated PG (although there are some animated boobies breastfeeding some animated babies in the beginning but who hasn't seen that in reality?) that was a seriously beautiful little movie.
ummm...it's 2 to 0 and Honduras is ahead so we've changed the channel and I should probably interface with my spouse.
I ponder these things as I sit in front of my large television beside my husband who is extremely enamored by soccer as per his Mexican-ness. Mexico is playing Honduras. I love me some Honduras so it's a bit of a toss up here. Mother land of my husband or mission land of my corazon....
it's all fun and games until the game actually starts and then it's like, 'there he went....que te vaya bien...you could try to talk to him about something or ask for his help (if you were his child) and he would appear to be in the room with you but he is actually playing soccer on a far away grassy field called 'winding down after work'
Upon sensing that I must have been complaining about his inattention to mountain standard time to the great void, Gabriel just leaned over and gave me a smooch and said, "this shows you how much i love you, Mexico is playing and I am looking at you"
that's over now. Honduras just scored and there were several technical mistakes that now have to be illuminated.....and he thinks their uniforms are not cool because they have an H on them because they are from Honduras....even though H's as a rule are silent and not pronounced at all in Spanish....
moving on.
I have recently begun to think that I should be saving hundreds of dollars a month to spend on myself by becoming undeniably and heartbreakingly frugal and coupon-ish and responsible with the money I get bi-weekly....i have found a new obsession.....clipping along the little dotted lines of the little coupons with some really sharp scissors.....sccccchhhhhp, sccccccchhhhpp......so beautiful....and then there are the little newsprint ones where your scissors slide when they're in that perfect open-ness position and you just feel so efficient....so productive....so frugal!!!
I'm in my pajamas from yesterday at 8pm today and I never left the house and I didn't clean anything although I did make some dinner (in the rice cooker)....
i did clip coupons though, people. I made serious plans to be very financially responsible in the coming days....Barbies are 50% off at KMart and Crayola is buy one get one free at ToysRUs.....you know, just the staples....bare essentials for these hard times....
Nordstrom Rack opens tomorrow 5 minutes from my front door.
there are bright spots in the haze...
I seemed to have remembered that 'Farewell My Concubine' was a pretty, while tragic, film from my days with the International cinema at BYU that was worth the while.....yeah....I'm lucky there weren't any straight razors or revolvers around when that got over. and no it's not naughty you naughty people...that's the name of a famous Peking opera like 'Carmen' or something for us.
The movie that was pretty stunning visually is new to Blockbuster this week called, Azur and Asmar the Prince's Quest...it's animated and rated PG (although there are some animated boobies breastfeeding some animated babies in the beginning but who hasn't seen that in reality?) that was a seriously beautiful little movie.
ummm...it's 2 to 0 and Honduras is ahead so we've changed the channel and I should probably interface with my spouse.
Thursday, March 26, 2009
post to cover up the last post i wrote which was probably very unpopular with people who think my life is better than fine so i should just shut up
When my girls want to taste some of my beverage they ask me if they can have a 'zip'.
'Mami, can i have a zip of your drink?'
My drive to pick up Dellah from school today was very different.
I usually walk around in a sort of uninspired haze like I do things and I'm happy and I feel joy but I'm not thinking anything new, you know? Not feeling myself contributing to a collective intelligence pool in the sky.
Well today I was driving alone (perhaps this is the key to original thought?) because Gabriel was home with Ruby and I got this actual flood of information about a story that I started writing in school 10 years ago. What she was motivated by and how he got there and who were her relatives and why did they matter and what were their relationships like and why and how to explain this or that thing and how the one book should actually be two and this is what they should say.
I started to cry because the feeling of an actual surge of thoughts and ideas was so different and exhilarating compared to my normal life.
I started writing these things down on the back of a wal mart receipt as fast as I could in the pick-up line at preschool and my mind was flying. So many things making sense about this one story that's been dormant for so long. Maybe that little story needs to come out and be a real thing.
i thank the Lord for some small manna to sustain my feelings of having once been a person who was pretty clever. There was as much adrenaline right then as there is after 4 miles on an elliptical machine.
I bet if I were super duper productive I would be very, very thin.
march 25th 10:49am.
original thought = $0
how good my 7-11 hot chocolate and donut tasted after said thought = priceless.
'Mami, can i have a zip of your drink?'
My drive to pick up Dellah from school today was very different.
I usually walk around in a sort of uninspired haze like I do things and I'm happy and I feel joy but I'm not thinking anything new, you know? Not feeling myself contributing to a collective intelligence pool in the sky.
Well today I was driving alone (perhaps this is the key to original thought?) because Gabriel was home with Ruby and I got this actual flood of information about a story that I started writing in school 10 years ago. What she was motivated by and how he got there and who were her relatives and why did they matter and what were their relationships like and why and how to explain this or that thing and how the one book should actually be two and this is what they should say.
I started to cry because the feeling of an actual surge of thoughts and ideas was so different and exhilarating compared to my normal life.
I started writing these things down on the back of a wal mart receipt as fast as I could in the pick-up line at preschool and my mind was flying. So many things making sense about this one story that's been dormant for so long. Maybe that little story needs to come out and be a real thing.
i thank the Lord for some small manna to sustain my feelings of having once been a person who was pretty clever. There was as much adrenaline right then as there is after 4 miles on an elliptical machine.
I bet if I were super duper productive I would be very, very thin.
march 25th 10:49am.
original thought = $0
how good my 7-11 hot chocolate and donut tasted after said thought = priceless.
one post to make everyone uncomfortable and wish I hadn't written it
Do you know what it means every time I start my period....AGAIN!
it means another month of realizing that I'm not pregnant and my baby is going to be 4 in 4 weeks and I feel like the butt of a seriously un-funny joke.
two kids in 5 minutes and then I actually want a baby really, super bad and oops....sorry.....all out.
no babies for you.
I adore my children. I think they are the cutest, funniest, cleverest folks. I guess there's only supposed to be two of them.
there is a weird feeling like I'm not worthy or some crap like I haven't done a good enough job with my two so I don't get three?
teenagers and hyperlame people get babies the way I used to get babies....without even trying. Super nice people also get babies and get to plan their children and say, "I think I want my children 2 years and 3 months apart.....well, looky there....I'm pregnant!"
I love pregnant people. I love children. I love procreation.
I am allowed to have this one little blog where I hate everyone and all people with working reproductive tools.
there are people who can't have even one kid.
I'm not trying to please the world and pretend that I'm not sad for my own isolated experience unrelated to anyone else's experience with infertility/singleness/whatever.
I'm just mad right now that for the 16th month I have woken up on some random day different than the month before and realized that I'm not getting to throw up for 40 weeks and increase my body mass index by 47% and raise my stress level exponentially and be hooked up to an i.v. every so often to replenish my fluids.
i aspire to the sickness that ends in life.
as if there weren't enough things i feel inadequate about. as if it's a bad thing to be married and happy and financially stable and want another kid to teach and protect and love.
whatever, tampax pearl.
bring it on.
it means another month of realizing that I'm not pregnant and my baby is going to be 4 in 4 weeks and I feel like the butt of a seriously un-funny joke.
two kids in 5 minutes and then I actually want a baby really, super bad and oops....sorry.....all out.
no babies for you.
I adore my children. I think they are the cutest, funniest, cleverest folks. I guess there's only supposed to be two of them.
there is a weird feeling like I'm not worthy or some crap like I haven't done a good enough job with my two so I don't get three?
teenagers and hyperlame people get babies the way I used to get babies....without even trying. Super nice people also get babies and get to plan their children and say, "I think I want my children 2 years and 3 months apart.....well, looky there....I'm pregnant!"
I love pregnant people. I love children. I love procreation.
I am allowed to have this one little blog where I hate everyone and all people with working reproductive tools.
there are people who can't have even one kid.
I'm not trying to please the world and pretend that I'm not sad for my own isolated experience unrelated to anyone else's experience with infertility/singleness/whatever.
I'm just mad right now that for the 16th month I have woken up on some random day different than the month before and realized that I'm not getting to throw up for 40 weeks and increase my body mass index by 47% and raise my stress level exponentially and be hooked up to an i.v. every so often to replenish my fluids.
i aspire to the sickness that ends in life.
as if there weren't enough things i feel inadequate about. as if it's a bad thing to be married and happy and financially stable and want another kid to teach and protect and love.
whatever, tampax pearl.
bring it on.
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
seriously
Who in the world knew that there were so many MORE things to be stressed out about than you first expected when having children. First of all, no one tells you that it really hurts when they take the placenta out of you after your baby comes out of you and no one tells you that the amount of debilitating tiredness after you have your baby makes you not remember anything and be ugly and it kind of never goes away. THEN they don't tell you that you should have appreciated your breasts in all their imperfections before because AFTER the children you are a grim shadow of your former breastness.
Then your children get larger and you're trying to make sure they have the right amounts of vitamins and wardrobe changes and meals and pacifiers that match their wardrobe changes and scriptures read to them every day and proper amounts of spanish pop music and english good music and classical music and wholesome videos and phonics and staying in the lines coloring and classic children's books read to them daily and newer children's books read to them daily and all of those books bought and read in english and spanish and timely potty training and intellectually stimulating toys and frivolous toys that mean nothing and toys that you always wanted as a child that are really for you and not your children and time spent playing on outdoor play structures and frolicking with correct amounts of SPF and positive reinforcement of good behavior and reproving betimes with sharpness and the whole increase of love afterward and preparing them to be kind to others but not so kind that they're wusses and not too mean to have to sit alone at lunch and not say "that man has a really big belly" right in front of 'that man' and kisses and hugs and endearing them to you above all others through whatever shameless methods available......
then you realize they have to go to school and have hobbies?
who is supposed to tell you what school to go to and when you even register a kid for school? Nobody tells people how to do these things. And what are my kids supposed to be good at for THE REST OF THEIR LIVES? and if I don't start them in these things last year preferably they're going to be dreadfully behind.
seriously.
who has time to make sure your children are talented, educated, safe, spiritual, beautiful, clever, quirky, funny, charming, scholarly and popular with other preschoolers? and take a shower?
impossible.
I mostly just sit with the yellow pages and think to myself....."Erin...what would you want to do if you were 3 and insane and unable to pay attention and only liked to whine and, while whining, bounced up and down in an incredibly annoying way? what about if you were 4 and thought you were the most talented person alive and already knew everything about everything and were
only being obedient when compelled by mortal fear of repercussions?"
I'm making light of a thing that haunts me daily. I'm not from Utah you know? I don't know where to take a kid for the best ballet classes or where to go for piano or violin lessons or theater workshops or singing lessons or soccer or whatever the hell else it is that every other person seems to have their children in and I don't.
Does the dad ever worry about these things enough to find out/register/lose sleep?
not in my experience.
Then your children get larger and you're trying to make sure they have the right amounts of vitamins and wardrobe changes and meals and pacifiers that match their wardrobe changes and scriptures read to them every day and proper amounts of spanish pop music and english good music and classical music and wholesome videos and phonics and staying in the lines coloring and classic children's books read to them daily and newer children's books read to them daily and all of those books bought and read in english and spanish and timely potty training and intellectually stimulating toys and frivolous toys that mean nothing and toys that you always wanted as a child that are really for you and not your children and time spent playing on outdoor play structures and frolicking with correct amounts of SPF and positive reinforcement of good behavior and reproving betimes with sharpness and the whole increase of love afterward and preparing them to be kind to others but not so kind that they're wusses and not too mean to have to sit alone at lunch and not say "that man has a really big belly" right in front of 'that man' and kisses and hugs and endearing them to you above all others through whatever shameless methods available......
then you realize they have to go to school and have hobbies?
who is supposed to tell you what school to go to and when you even register a kid for school? Nobody tells people how to do these things. And what are my kids supposed to be good at for THE REST OF THEIR LIVES? and if I don't start them in these things last year preferably they're going to be dreadfully behind.
seriously.
who has time to make sure your children are talented, educated, safe, spiritual, beautiful, clever, quirky, funny, charming, scholarly and popular with other preschoolers? and take a shower?
impossible.
I mostly just sit with the yellow pages and think to myself....."Erin...what would you want to do if you were 3 and insane and unable to pay attention and only liked to whine and, while whining, bounced up and down in an incredibly annoying way? what about if you were 4 and thought you were the most talented person alive and already knew everything about everything and were
only being obedient when compelled by mortal fear of repercussions?"
I'm making light of a thing that haunts me daily. I'm not from Utah you know? I don't know where to take a kid for the best ballet classes or where to go for piano or violin lessons or theater workshops or singing lessons or soccer or whatever the hell else it is that every other person seems to have their children in and I don't.
Does the dad ever worry about these things enough to find out/register/lose sleep?
not in my experience.
Saturday, March 07, 2009
mmmm.....the smell of....what IS that smell anyway?
Nothing smells or anything around here, I just thought I'd pique your interest by making you think something did.
This week I only took a couple of showers so it could very well be me that smells but you know you can never smell yourself the way you are smelled by others. I actually tried sprinkling baby powder on my hair to absorb some of the unshowerdness of it all on Wednesday and I was in a hurry so I didn't realize until later that I looked like one of the British Parliament members. Erin...baby powder is white. Your hair is super dark brown. What are you thinking? invest in a portable mirror already so you don't disgrace yourself further.
I wrote last time about how I was going to go to DI and I was going to write after coming home that day before I got sidetracked that I think Satan lives in DI. I love mormons and I AM a mormon and we obviously abhor Satan and his minions but that beneficent place of global welfare service is filled with things that jump into your cart and make you buy them at small invisible gunpoint. I feel so strong when I'm in the parking lot and then the cryptonite-laden doors open and it's all over. Possessed I tell you. Eeeeeeeviiiilllll.
problematic.
I am on a cash only basis now people. Money is so much harder to spend when it's actually money, you know? I'm like, '5 dollars at Taco Bell! Now i only have a five and a ten left out of that 20 dollar bill!" I have stayed within my budget for two whole months now thanks to my little leather pouch with sections for miscellaneous, food and Costco money.
are you bored yet?
I kind of am.
I'll put you out of your misery now.
there are oreo mcflurries to buy, freeze and then eat while frozen. I'm swamped.
This week I only took a couple of showers so it could very well be me that smells but you know you can never smell yourself the way you are smelled by others. I actually tried sprinkling baby powder on my hair to absorb some of the unshowerdness of it all on Wednesday and I was in a hurry so I didn't realize until later that I looked like one of the British Parliament members. Erin...baby powder is white. Your hair is super dark brown. What are you thinking? invest in a portable mirror already so you don't disgrace yourself further.
I wrote last time about how I was going to go to DI and I was going to write after coming home that day before I got sidetracked that I think Satan lives in DI. I love mormons and I AM a mormon and we obviously abhor Satan and his minions but that beneficent place of global welfare service is filled with things that jump into your cart and make you buy them at small invisible gunpoint. I feel so strong when I'm in the parking lot and then the cryptonite-laden doors open and it's all over. Possessed I tell you. Eeeeeeeviiiilllll.
problematic.
I am on a cash only basis now people. Money is so much harder to spend when it's actually money, you know? I'm like, '5 dollars at Taco Bell! Now i only have a five and a ten left out of that 20 dollar bill!" I have stayed within my budget for two whole months now thanks to my little leather pouch with sections for miscellaneous, food and Costco money.
are you bored yet?
I kind of am.
I'll put you out of your misery now.
there are oreo mcflurries to buy, freeze and then eat while frozen. I'm swamped.
Friday, February 27, 2009
mysterious ways
The Lord told me not to buy and Acura and to keep my Chrysler Pacifica. What kind of answer is that? If I didn't have such a long history of customer satisfaction with this particular prayer answerer I would file a complaint or try and negotiate. Like, "what do you mean I can't have that luxurious SUV? are you crazy? Do you know that Chrysler is on the short list for financial demise? yes, I understand that I wanted the Chrysler and I should have thought of that first.... Would it help if I said I could settle for the Rdx? NO? seriuosly? maybe I should give you a couple minutes since a few folks are probably in hospitals asking for help and Carrie Underwood is probably about to get in a car wreck and need you to take the wheel? ....no?....."
whatever. I guess I don't need a car that talks to me and cradles me deep in the arms of Japanese engineering while promising endless resale value and good gas mileage.
I'm sure there will be some clarity at a later date.
or something.
My chldren are hiding in a corner between the couch and a chair from some feind who is looking for both Hello Kitty AND that defenseless Corelle baby doll with the pacifier attached to her pink pajama outfit. This is very serious. They're whispering and have decided that the Bob the Builder Jack-in the-box is going to put the potential victims to sleep so they won't be feared for their lives. I don't care if they're playing south american drug cartell personally if it involves this much whispering. I can hear myself think............eh......overrated.
I got paid today for my efforts as a domestical facilitator ie my husbands automatic deposit came through today since tomorrow is the end of the month and it's not a business day tomorrow. I have allotted myself a nice portion and am now sitting here on the couch watching my children whisper and frolic and thinking of all the ways I can spend 90% of it today....Gabriel isn't going to be home until 11pm so I could :
go to DI for a disgusting amount of time and buy unnecessary stuff
Take my children to the movies AND get movie snacks
Go to Ross and (see DI description for the play by play)
Go to TJ Maxx for more of the same
Go to Target where I actually have a $20 gift card to alleviate the receipt total a smidge
Take my children somewhere stimulating and educational that they would love and I would hate
Speak with local political leaders re. Utah's part in the world issues George Clooney is interested in
ummmm....
I think I'll just take it easy and go to DI.
overstretching my expectations only leads to disappointment
whatever. I guess I don't need a car that talks to me and cradles me deep in the arms of Japanese engineering while promising endless resale value and good gas mileage.
I'm sure there will be some clarity at a later date.
or something.
My chldren are hiding in a corner between the couch and a chair from some feind who is looking for both Hello Kitty AND that defenseless Corelle baby doll with the pacifier attached to her pink pajama outfit. This is very serious. They're whispering and have decided that the Bob the Builder Jack-in the-box is going to put the potential victims to sleep so they won't be feared for their lives. I don't care if they're playing south american drug cartell personally if it involves this much whispering. I can hear myself think............eh......overrated.
I got paid today for my efforts as a domestical facilitator ie my husbands automatic deposit came through today since tomorrow is the end of the month and it's not a business day tomorrow. I have allotted myself a nice portion and am now sitting here on the couch watching my children whisper and frolic and thinking of all the ways I can spend 90% of it today....Gabriel isn't going to be home until 11pm so I could :
go to DI for a disgusting amount of time and buy unnecessary stuff
Take my children to the movies AND get movie snacks
Go to Ross and (see DI description for the play by play)
Go to TJ Maxx for more of the same
Go to Target where I actually have a $20 gift card to alleviate the receipt total a smidge
Take my children somewhere stimulating and educational that they would love and I would hate
Speak with local political leaders re. Utah's part in the world issues George Clooney is interested in
ummmm....
I think I'll just take it easy and go to DI.
overstretching my expectations only leads to disappointment
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
just stuff
Let me just start by saying that I am so glad that I am not hiding from the 'migra' in the desert between america and Mexico...sheesh...hard times, people.
also did you know that Rite Aid is the only store in the continental US that sells the long pink boxes of Lupone Jordan almonds? just so you know. thin shelled, pretty little pastel colors...addicted since 1990.
Dellah and Ruby are seriously annoying. They are also seriously hi-larious.
The other day Dellah said, "Mami, when can we eat? I'm hungry from all that exercising you did."
Ruby is obsessed with Rapunzel. We have the story on CD and we listen to it over and over. I think it has something to do with the fact that she has shorter hair than most little girls or something but at least it's blond. There is a line from the CD, "Rapunzel was blessed with beautiful, long, flowing, blond hair". She says that all the time, 'Mami, can you see my eawings with my longflowingblondhaiw?" and "Mami, lookumee, Mami, I have longflowingblondhaiw when I wun."
They also both self-soothe in tough times with thoughts of christmas and other gifted holidays. It begins with, 'can i have this or that or more of this or that' and the answer is no....after 5 or 10 seconds Ruby then says, "I know, mami, I godda gwate idea...Santa can gimme this for Eestowe...o whaddabout he give it to me fow my happy birthday?" yeah, Ruby...santa can do that...sure....whuuuudever.
Dellah is the same...no is only an acceptable answer if the item is promised for some other holiday by some fictional giftgiver. amazing. I'm just banking on their limited memories at this point
Have you ever felt like you were on the cusp? you know, like you were cusping somehow? I keep having all these thoughts like, "I should be writing something or making something or 'being' something more than I am and I can almost see the window through which I can climb to achieve that....somewhere out in front of me..." like my thoughts are kind of congealing after so long not being able to think about stuff very clearly.
I wish I could just be great, you know? Amazing and productive and inspiring and creative on some other level. I wish I could write something really, really good...
the cusp, people...I'm on it.
another thing i do now is use an elliptical machine and drink 7-11 hot chocolate.
also did you know that Rite Aid is the only store in the continental US that sells the long pink boxes of Lupone Jordan almonds? just so you know. thin shelled, pretty little pastel colors...addicted since 1990.
Dellah and Ruby are seriously annoying. They are also seriously hi-larious.
The other day Dellah said, "Mami, when can we eat? I'm hungry from all that exercising you did."
Ruby is obsessed with Rapunzel. We have the story on CD and we listen to it over and over. I think it has something to do with the fact that she has shorter hair than most little girls or something but at least it's blond. There is a line from the CD, "Rapunzel was blessed with beautiful, long, flowing, blond hair". She says that all the time, 'Mami, can you see my eawings with my longflowingblondhaiw?" and "Mami, lookumee, Mami, I have longflowingblondhaiw when I wun."
They also both self-soothe in tough times with thoughts of christmas and other gifted holidays. It begins with, 'can i have this or that or more of this or that' and the answer is no....after 5 or 10 seconds Ruby then says, "I know, mami, I godda gwate idea...Santa can gimme this for Eestowe...o whaddabout he give it to me fow my happy birthday?" yeah, Ruby...santa can do that...sure....whuuuudever.
Dellah is the same...no is only an acceptable answer if the item is promised for some other holiday by some fictional giftgiver. amazing. I'm just banking on their limited memories at this point
Have you ever felt like you were on the cusp? you know, like you were cusping somehow? I keep having all these thoughts like, "I should be writing something or making something or 'being' something more than I am and I can almost see the window through which I can climb to achieve that....somewhere out in front of me..." like my thoughts are kind of congealing after so long not being able to think about stuff very clearly.
I wish I could just be great, you know? Amazing and productive and inspiring and creative on some other level. I wish I could write something really, really good...
the cusp, people...I'm on it.
another thing i do now is use an elliptical machine and drink 7-11 hot chocolate.
Friday, February 20, 2009
whatever, Madonna....and Vampires...
I was actually going to write something about how I just read online that Madonna is 50 and she looks 30. Then I decided that it would just make me loose the spirit of extreme good will that I constantly, always, consistently bear toward all human kind....
yeah.
so I knew right after I bit my first oreo cakester that my life would change. I knew when people told me not to eat nutella or I wouldn't ever be able to stop eating it that I should steer clear and I have. I knew when folks told me not to to read the vampire books that I shouldn't do it. I heard they were not well written and used a series of 8 or 9 adjectives at the exclusion of all others (ie, velvety, devastating, statue-like...). I'm all about books so I knew there would be enough to read without jumping heedlessly on the fanat-o-wagon.
Then something happened.
I went to the movie and I was like, "these people are really pale...maybe I'm a vampire?" then I thought that the dad of the vampires was hugely better looking than the main vampire and realized that I was in my 30's.
THEN we sent my car to this dude who straightens out creases in cars (since Gabriel pulled into the garage and scraped the big trash can against the whole driver's side).
When we got the car back there was no crease in the side and a copy of the first twilight book on the passenger seat.
I asked everybody...'did you put this book in my car? how did this book get in my car?" then the inevitable ensued.
i opened it.
I read it on wednesday. Thursday I went to wal mart and bought the 2nd on and read all 563 pages that day.
I now have a problem. People with addictive personalities do not need to eat highly sugared fad foods and they do not need to have the ingredients for mexican wedding cookies on hand at all times and they MOST CERTAINLY do NOT need to start reading highly elusive, poorly written, sink their nails in and hook your mind to them Vampire books!!!
my babies got their ears pierced for valentine's day. Initially I thought that particular part of Mexican culture was barbaric and whatever but now that they look so adorable I have decided any other female offspring will be pierced in infancy....They have these little sparkly rubies and they feel so beautiful....I thought for sure it would change their attitudes somehow or make them better behaved or something but they're just the same folks....accessorized.
Let's let by-gones be by-gones, ok? So I didn't write for 3 1/2 months...
so?
love me anyway!!!
yeah.
so I knew right after I bit my first oreo cakester that my life would change. I knew when people told me not to eat nutella or I wouldn't ever be able to stop eating it that I should steer clear and I have. I knew when folks told me not to to read the vampire books that I shouldn't do it. I heard they were not well written and used a series of 8 or 9 adjectives at the exclusion of all others (ie, velvety, devastating, statue-like...). I'm all about books so I knew there would be enough to read without jumping heedlessly on the fanat-o-wagon.
Then something happened.
I went to the movie and I was like, "these people are really pale...maybe I'm a vampire?" then I thought that the dad of the vampires was hugely better looking than the main vampire and realized that I was in my 30's.
THEN we sent my car to this dude who straightens out creases in cars (since Gabriel pulled into the garage and scraped the big trash can against the whole driver's side).
When we got the car back there was no crease in the side and a copy of the first twilight book on the passenger seat.
I asked everybody...'did you put this book in my car? how did this book get in my car?" then the inevitable ensued.
i opened it.
I read it on wednesday. Thursday I went to wal mart and bought the 2nd on and read all 563 pages that day.
I now have a problem. People with addictive personalities do not need to eat highly sugared fad foods and they do not need to have the ingredients for mexican wedding cookies on hand at all times and they MOST CERTAINLY do NOT need to start reading highly elusive, poorly written, sink their nails in and hook your mind to them Vampire books!!!
my babies got their ears pierced for valentine's day. Initially I thought that particular part of Mexican culture was barbaric and whatever but now that they look so adorable I have decided any other female offspring will be pierced in infancy....They have these little sparkly rubies and they feel so beautiful....I thought for sure it would change their attitudes somehow or make them better behaved or something but they're just the same folks....accessorized.
Let's let by-gones be by-gones, ok? So I didn't write for 3 1/2 months...
so?
love me anyway!!!
Tuesday, October 21, 2008
good grief
Three weeks ago Gabriel comes home telling me that this girl from the Latin American Chamber of Commerce who is originally from Honduras wanted to have us over for Honduran food when she found out I was a missionary there. Ok. Then it began. The creeping fear of meeting strangers and not knowing what to say to them and wanting to not do it and wanting to be told I didn't have to do it. A few weeks went by and Gabriel said he needed to confirm with this girl for friday because she was planning it for us and another couple. I said fine hoping someone would get the flu or something.
Thursday comes along...this past thursday the 16th... and I had had a difficult day feeling under appreciated in my world and wishing that I had a new shiny blackberry like Gabriel and new shiny clothes like my kids and new shiny skin like my kids and time to run on a treadmill like Gabriel and new shiny amazingness like everyone seems to have when you're looking around and not close up enough to realize that everyone isn't blissfully thrilled to be doing what they're doing. Anyway, I had a breakdown lying in my bed after all these random feelings of self-woe and I said to Gabriel, (while weeping) "Please just don't make me go eat pupusas with those peopuuuhuhuhuuulllll!"
Gabriel then promised he would hold my hand the whole time and every minute over 45 that we were there he would give me $10.
as any enterprising young woman would be, I was fine with that.
Friday came and my parents had the girls and we set off to the avenues to meet strangers and pretend we love them and their house and everything they make to eat and say to us like you're supposed to when you meet strangers.
We get out of the car on a dark deserted street and walk up to a dark seemingly deserted house and knock on the door which opens with no one visibly opening it.
Upon crossing the threshold the roaring screams of "SUUURPPRRRIIIISSSSEEEE! happy birthday!!!" fly to my ears....
tears.
tears, people.
tears of relief, tears of happy, tears of glad, tears of how could I not have realized I was outside my friend Marsha's house when we drove up. just tears.
Gabriel is so nice he put together a little thing for my birthday almost two weeks before my birthday thus allaying any suspicion that anyone would be thinking about my birthday at all. I wasn't even thinking about my birthday, only dinner with strangers.
but there they were....my little friends from a window of my life that I loved in college and who continue to be my dearest folks.
There was a chocolate fountain.
There was a replica of the red velvet cake from my wedding 5 years ago that I never tasted due to unforeseen refrigerator malfunctions 5 years ago.
there were presents in happy boxes from anthropologie and conversations and happiness and so on.
I seriously haven't ever really been surprised ...on purpose I guess. I even make appointments to give birth to my children I'm such a control freak....well, it worked! I was surprised. thank you Gabriel and everyone else for playing along.
Speaking of control and the lack thereof....Gabriel left the country yesterday for a week and I thought I would just jaunt over to my parent's house around lunch to see what was going on for a while before nap time here at my house would begin. We got to the garage with both cars to choose from so, of course I picked the smaller, faster one which parks easier than my bigger family one. Sharon and Lewi live 15 seconds from seat belt click in my garage to knock on their door so the girls just hopped in the car with no safety seats etc.
About 10 minutes into my visit there is a knock at the door and the across the street neighbor is telling me that they have just hit the car while backing out of their garage (and reading a note at the same time it turns out).
oh, no, not my domestic fix it anywhere car.
gabriel's car.
the foreign one with the 3 letters and the zeroes in the price any time you want to fix anything.
I park in that exact same spot EVERY SINGLE DAY! I mean every day. People park all along the street in this neighborhood every single day and I always see them....I never hit them. I never read while I back into them.
so now (see social inadequacy above) I am having to talk to strangers and work out a problem that I didn't create and it makes me sick. poor Gabriel hadn't even been gone 4 hours when his little car gets hurt.
life
I'm having a little problem wanting to devour my little Ruby. She is scrumptious. You know what I mean, like you get all anxious just to bite them! just eat them up! If she ever learns to say her r's I'm sure she will still be cute but something about a speech impedement and a pixie haircut and big blue eyes is driving me crazy with cuteness! "Look, mom, what aw dows twees? aw dey deciduous twees? o aw dey evowgween twees?"
good grief.
stop the madness.
so cute.
I am kind of all about minerals. Mineral powder, mineral blush, mineral foundation, minerals, minerals, minerals. so good. Also, I don't know if I've mentioned before that clinical strength deodorant is actually nigh unto a 3-d walking miracle from heaven. i mean it's not that, 'wow, my sweat doesn't smell at all' it's 'OH MY GOODNESS, I DON'T EVEN SWEAT ANYMORE!! sweat? what's that? I don't even sweat. I don't know what you're talking about.'
craziness.
I mean it's called Secret but people, I am yelling it from the rooftops....stop the sweating....MAKE YOURSELF LIKE A PRE-PUBESCENT CHILD AND NEVER SWEAT AGAIN! use it. buy it. follow the instructions and change your life.
forever.
that and these little chocolate dipped Blue bunny Popsicles that come, unfortunately, in a box of 20 and I cannot get enough of them.
that and it's my birthday in 8 days.
and I can't wait till that Tinker Bell movie comes out on the 28th because I'm insane.
And I'm obsessed with Genghis Khan after watching that movie Mongol last night.
adieu, adieu
to yur and yur and yur.
Thursday comes along...this past thursday the 16th... and I had had a difficult day feeling under appreciated in my world and wishing that I had a new shiny blackberry like Gabriel and new shiny clothes like my kids and new shiny skin like my kids and time to run on a treadmill like Gabriel and new shiny amazingness like everyone seems to have when you're looking around and not close up enough to realize that everyone isn't blissfully thrilled to be doing what they're doing. Anyway, I had a breakdown lying in my bed after all these random feelings of self-woe and I said to Gabriel, (while weeping) "Please just don't make me go eat pupusas with those peopuuuhuhuhuuulllll!"
Gabriel then promised he would hold my hand the whole time and every minute over 45 that we were there he would give me $10.
as any enterprising young woman would be, I was fine with that.
Friday came and my parents had the girls and we set off to the avenues to meet strangers and pretend we love them and their house and everything they make to eat and say to us like you're supposed to when you meet strangers.
We get out of the car on a dark deserted street and walk up to a dark seemingly deserted house and knock on the door which opens with no one visibly opening it.
Upon crossing the threshold the roaring screams of "SUUURPPRRRIIIISSSSEEEE! happy birthday!!!" fly to my ears....
tears.
tears, people.
tears of relief, tears of happy, tears of glad, tears of how could I not have realized I was outside my friend Marsha's house when we drove up. just tears.
Gabriel is so nice he put together a little thing for my birthday almost two weeks before my birthday thus allaying any suspicion that anyone would be thinking about my birthday at all. I wasn't even thinking about my birthday, only dinner with strangers.
but there they were....my little friends from a window of my life that I loved in college and who continue to be my dearest folks.
There was a chocolate fountain.
There was a replica of the red velvet cake from my wedding 5 years ago that I never tasted due to unforeseen refrigerator malfunctions 5 years ago.
there were presents in happy boxes from anthropologie and conversations and happiness and so on.
I seriously haven't ever really been surprised ...on purpose I guess. I even make appointments to give birth to my children I'm such a control freak....well, it worked! I was surprised. thank you Gabriel and everyone else for playing along.
Speaking of control and the lack thereof....Gabriel left the country yesterday for a week and I thought I would just jaunt over to my parent's house around lunch to see what was going on for a while before nap time here at my house would begin. We got to the garage with both cars to choose from so, of course I picked the smaller, faster one which parks easier than my bigger family one. Sharon and Lewi live 15 seconds from seat belt click in my garage to knock on their door so the girls just hopped in the car with no safety seats etc.
About 10 minutes into my visit there is a knock at the door and the across the street neighbor is telling me that they have just hit the car while backing out of their garage (and reading a note at the same time it turns out).
oh, no, not my domestic fix it anywhere car.
gabriel's car.
the foreign one with the 3 letters and the zeroes in the price any time you want to fix anything.
I park in that exact same spot EVERY SINGLE DAY! I mean every day. People park all along the street in this neighborhood every single day and I always see them....I never hit them. I never read while I back into them.
so now (see social inadequacy above) I am having to talk to strangers and work out a problem that I didn't create and it makes me sick. poor Gabriel hadn't even been gone 4 hours when his little car gets hurt.
life
I'm having a little problem wanting to devour my little Ruby. She is scrumptious. You know what I mean, like you get all anxious just to bite them! just eat them up! If she ever learns to say her r's I'm sure she will still be cute but something about a speech impedement and a pixie haircut and big blue eyes is driving me crazy with cuteness! "Look, mom, what aw dows twees? aw dey deciduous twees? o aw dey evowgween twees?"
good grief.
stop the madness.
so cute.
I am kind of all about minerals. Mineral powder, mineral blush, mineral foundation, minerals, minerals, minerals. so good. Also, I don't know if I've mentioned before that clinical strength deodorant is actually nigh unto a 3-d walking miracle from heaven. i mean it's not that, 'wow, my sweat doesn't smell at all' it's 'OH MY GOODNESS, I DON'T EVEN SWEAT ANYMORE!! sweat? what's that? I don't even sweat. I don't know what you're talking about.'
craziness.
I mean it's called Secret but people, I am yelling it from the rooftops....stop the sweating....MAKE YOURSELF LIKE A PRE-PUBESCENT CHILD AND NEVER SWEAT AGAIN! use it. buy it. follow the instructions and change your life.
forever.
that and these little chocolate dipped Blue bunny Popsicles that come, unfortunately, in a box of 20 and I cannot get enough of them.
that and it's my birthday in 8 days.
and I can't wait till that Tinker Bell movie comes out on the 28th because I'm insane.
And I'm obsessed with Genghis Khan after watching that movie Mongol last night.
adieu, adieu
to yur and yur and yur.
Monday, October 13, 2008
16 more days
It is 16 more days before I get to the 2nd ugliest age ever invented (31 being the first, 32 being the second). 32? what in the world IS it? It doesn't relate to anything and it sounds bad. there's no symmetry in 32. I'm not saying I'm old because I don't think 32 is old, I'm just saying it's ugly. ugly, ugly.
We just spent the last 9 days with Gabriel's brother and his family who stayed with us while. We are changed Sanchezes. Sarah and Sergio (that's their names) are those people who don't ever yell. I mean never. They don't get that fire of hell look in their eyes when their children whine and act out. NO, Sarah and Sergio don't play that...they fight fire with bubbles and naughtiness with tickling. I admire most everything about them as parents. So far we have quite a few days of not going ballistic on our children and our children are quite happy and, in some cases pleasantly surprised I'm sure, that we have had a live in example of how to be better and we're practicing. I have prayed and prayed for answers to my prayers and I have been frustrated to tears with my inability to see changes or even know what else to do. Thank you, Sarah and Sergio for showing us the way. Sometimes you get feelings and sometimes you get houseguests....they're all answers.
Yesterday was major drama at the primary program. Dellah has had her line memorized for 2 months."the prophet teaches us to be honest and pay our tithing". If you know her you know that she can't stop singing EVER so she knew all the songs too. We get to church early and she's wearing her pretty pretty dress and her magenta tights and her red patent maryjanes and she goes to sit on the stand. The program starts and she's fine. I am a child of God goes off without a hitch. She goes up to do her line with her trademark impeccable e-nun-ci-ationnn and she gets the appreciative giggle that comes when folks see such a small girl with such a clear voice.
Then we get to the rest of the songs and program where it was a cattle drive to the front of the podeum every time there was a song and there was no adult regulation of size order or shoving. Little 30 pound 4 year old Dellah kept getting shoved by these 6 or 7 year old kids and even one kid who's her age and, after 2 songs behind some mean huge kid who only thinks of themselves, she totally lost it up there on the stand. She's crying and saying,'but they're pushing me and I can't see and they're just pushing me and I can't see and they keep on pushing..." you can imagine. Her sweet teacher holds her for the rest of the non-song parts and the kids get the hint, sort of, that they need to ease up on the violence. She didn't sing any songs for all the drama. We are the parents of a Primary program sub-plot in carnate....nice.
I felt this uncontrolled urge to get up and shout, "what is wrong with you people, can't you see that all these big kids are crowding all these tiny little kids who have never done this before and no one can see them?!!!! there was a stinging in my eyes and a saliva building in my mouth from the rage.
Then I decided to ignore it and tell Dellah she did great (because she did) and try to say we should be more like Jesus and forgive people for pushing us when we're 3 1/2 feet tall and they're huge and could be seen easily with no effort BEHIND the tiny kids but they didn't move because they're lame (I mean kids).
Now she says that the next time she has a program she'll wear the same dress and sing all the songs loudly. Here's to missed chances and kids with no social graces.
hip hip hooooorayyy.
down below here I have a post about my sister you should read.
thanks for playing.
We just spent the last 9 days with Gabriel's brother and his family who stayed with us while. We are changed Sanchezes. Sarah and Sergio (that's their names) are those people who don't ever yell. I mean never. They don't get that fire of hell look in their eyes when their children whine and act out. NO, Sarah and Sergio don't play that...they fight fire with bubbles and naughtiness with tickling. I admire most everything about them as parents. So far we have quite a few days of not going ballistic on our children and our children are quite happy and, in some cases pleasantly surprised I'm sure, that we have had a live in example of how to be better and we're practicing. I have prayed and prayed for answers to my prayers and I have been frustrated to tears with my inability to see changes or even know what else to do. Thank you, Sarah and Sergio for showing us the way. Sometimes you get feelings and sometimes you get houseguests....they're all answers.
Yesterday was major drama at the primary program. Dellah has had her line memorized for 2 months."the prophet teaches us to be honest and pay our tithing". If you know her you know that she can't stop singing EVER so she knew all the songs too. We get to church early and she's wearing her pretty pretty dress and her magenta tights and her red patent maryjanes and she goes to sit on the stand. The program starts and she's fine. I am a child of God goes off without a hitch. She goes up to do her line with her trademark impeccable e-nun-ci-ationnn and she gets the appreciative giggle that comes when folks see such a small girl with such a clear voice.
Then we get to the rest of the songs and program where it was a cattle drive to the front of the podeum every time there was a song and there was no adult regulation of size order or shoving. Little 30 pound 4 year old Dellah kept getting shoved by these 6 or 7 year old kids and even one kid who's her age and, after 2 songs behind some mean huge kid who only thinks of themselves, she totally lost it up there on the stand. She's crying and saying,'but they're pushing me and I can't see and they're just pushing me and I can't see and they keep on pushing..." you can imagine. Her sweet teacher holds her for the rest of the non-song parts and the kids get the hint, sort of, that they need to ease up on the violence. She didn't sing any songs for all the drama. We are the parents of a Primary program sub-plot in carnate....nice.
I felt this uncontrolled urge to get up and shout, "what is wrong with you people, can't you see that all these big kids are crowding all these tiny little kids who have never done this before and no one can see them?!!!! there was a stinging in my eyes and a saliva building in my mouth from the rage.
Then I decided to ignore it and tell Dellah she did great (because she did) and try to say we should be more like Jesus and forgive people for pushing us when we're 3 1/2 feet tall and they're huge and could be seen easily with no effort BEHIND the tiny kids but they didn't move because they're lame (I mean kids).
Now she says that the next time she has a program she'll wear the same dress and sing all the songs loudly. Here's to missed chances and kids with no social graces.
hip hip hooooorayyy.
down below here I have a post about my sister you should read.
thanks for playing.
genetical bliss
I have siblings. Today I would focus on the youngest sister who probably benefitted from some heretofore unknown magic available only to last children and only children (who are alpha and omega in one kid). Anyway, there's Jenny Wilson, my little sister who has always just had this no nonsense way of making stuff work. Where I would actually get distracted between getting out my toothbrush and actually brushing my teeth, she would make it all the way to the end of the process quickly and then make some gadget to have it be more aesthetic and efficient for people like me. She majored in family home and personal enrichment education at BYU or whatever they call that major that every single girl wishes she had done after she gets married and has children.
Anyway, she has this blog where you can see how cute she is and how clever and everything else. it's http://www.jwsew.blogspot.com/.
I can do lots of stuff but I can't even figure out how to change the background of this ugly blog or sew a straight line, much less set up a paypal account so you can see why Jenny is once, twice, three times a lady..
Anyway, she has this blog where you can see how cute she is and how clever and everything else. it's http://www.jwsew.blogspot.com/.
I can do lots of stuff but I can't even figure out how to change the background of this ugly blog or sew a straight line, much less set up a paypal account so you can see why Jenny is once, twice, three times a lady..
Wednesday, October 01, 2008
you're just brown
The other Sunday in church Dellah was having a relapse of her puppy/kitten phase and started licking Gabriel's hand in sacrament meeting...Gabriel looks down at her and whispers, 'don't lick my hand, Dellah, it's dirty', to which she replied, 'You're not dirty papi, you're just brown...'
This is the first time I have ever heard her acknowledge that her Papi is not white like she looks from the outside...I wondered for a second if she would be drawn to brown boys just because of her comfort level or if she would feel 'mexican' in some way and express that in some heretofore unknown way...I think it will be fascinating to watch and see what two cultures look like painted on one little girl.
As for Ruby, this is an exact quote, "Mami, do you talk Espanol?"
"Si, Ruby, yo hablo Espanol siempre"
"oh, I talk Espanol tambien, Mami...dus like yuuu"
mmmmhmmm...
well, sort of.
My chubbiness is grossing me out. Something has to happen where I stop eating. Death is not an option since I really appreciate living...
I just wish I had some endorphins to help me want to get some more endorphins by some exercising or something besides watching television and wishing I had endorphins...
whatever.
If food would start tasting like crap it would be a lot easier but I feel so happy when I have yumminess in my tumminess...
Kinley needs to get her big stupid self off of project runway. I can't stand that girl.
I watched the John Adams HBO movie after reading the book and I have to say, I really wish people cared about America the way they used to when it was just an infant that they needed to form and help and protect. Homeboy was ugly but he was inspired.
that's fo sho.
I'm sure you've all cut your hair because you were so sick of your hair and just knew that it would look better if you cut it when all you needed to do was let it keep growing past the ugliness to get even better...
pictures from June haunt me...I should have just LEFT IT ALONE! but noooo, I had to think that I wanted Ruby's little effortless Tinkerbell situation without thinking that I'm 3 feet taller, not a blond and not 3 years old.
evil shears...
stop cutting my hairs when I open you and put you around my hairs and want to cut my hairs thinking I know better than professional hair cutters know about my hairs...turn a blunt ear, dearest shears...leave me alone...help me help myself and not be homely by being homely past the homely stage until my arrival at cute hair...
carpet you can atone for...haircuts you just lament.
On a lighter note, today was a really good day. I was saying things like, "do you need some alone time so that you can stop feeling angry?" and "you know, it hurts my feelings when you yell at me, can you please calm down and talk with words?"
look at me being all educated by nanny 911.
I hope tomorrow goes the same...it's amazing how fun life can be when you don't dislike your offspring!
ps, when there are ugly people in commercials trying to get people to buy things and stay at places by making them think that normal people buy those things and stay at those hotels, it makes me really sick because wouldn't everyone rather believe that fabulously good looking people are making the same choices as them and not that they're on par with really average/ugly people? I don't buy barbies for my children, I say positive things to my children about my own body and theirs and appreciate diversity in life but I would much rather see Brooke Shields selling Colgate than weird looking people staying at Best Western.
that's all.
This is the first time I have ever heard her acknowledge that her Papi is not white like she looks from the outside...I wondered for a second if she would be drawn to brown boys just because of her comfort level or if she would feel 'mexican' in some way and express that in some heretofore unknown way...I think it will be fascinating to watch and see what two cultures look like painted on one little girl.
As for Ruby, this is an exact quote, "Mami, do you talk Espanol?"
"Si, Ruby, yo hablo Espanol siempre"
"oh, I talk Espanol tambien, Mami...dus like yuuu"
mmmmhmmm...
well, sort of.
My chubbiness is grossing me out. Something has to happen where I stop eating. Death is not an option since I really appreciate living...
I just wish I had some endorphins to help me want to get some more endorphins by some exercising or something besides watching television and wishing I had endorphins...
whatever.
If food would start tasting like crap it would be a lot easier but I feel so happy when I have yumminess in my tumminess...
Kinley needs to get her big stupid self off of project runway. I can't stand that girl.
I watched the John Adams HBO movie after reading the book and I have to say, I really wish people cared about America the way they used to when it was just an infant that they needed to form and help and protect. Homeboy was ugly but he was inspired.
that's fo sho.
I'm sure you've all cut your hair because you were so sick of your hair and just knew that it would look better if you cut it when all you needed to do was let it keep growing past the ugliness to get even better...
pictures from June haunt me...I should have just LEFT IT ALONE! but noooo, I had to think that I wanted Ruby's little effortless Tinkerbell situation without thinking that I'm 3 feet taller, not a blond and not 3 years old.
evil shears...
stop cutting my hairs when I open you and put you around my hairs and want to cut my hairs thinking I know better than professional hair cutters know about my hairs...turn a blunt ear, dearest shears...leave me alone...help me help myself and not be homely by being homely past the homely stage until my arrival at cute hair...
carpet you can atone for...haircuts you just lament.
On a lighter note, today was a really good day. I was saying things like, "do you need some alone time so that you can stop feeling angry?" and "you know, it hurts my feelings when you yell at me, can you please calm down and talk with words?"
look at me being all educated by nanny 911.
I hope tomorrow goes the same...it's amazing how fun life can be when you don't dislike your offspring!
ps, when there are ugly people in commercials trying to get people to buy things and stay at places by making them think that normal people buy those things and stay at those hotels, it makes me really sick because wouldn't everyone rather believe that fabulously good looking people are making the same choices as them and not that they're on par with really average/ugly people? I don't buy barbies for my children, I say positive things to my children about my own body and theirs and appreciate diversity in life but I would much rather see Brooke Shields selling Colgate than weird looking people staying at Best Western.
that's all.
Friday, September 26, 2008
viernes en el barrio
When you have not written in your blog for 2 months and you have felt yourself slipping into that gross place where you feel all closed off and separate from people this is what you should do....
BLOG UNTIL YOU FEEL LIKE BLOGGING...
I think a prophet said that or something.
My parents live 10 doors down from me now...I can't remember what I used to do and that's probably a problem because I take Dellah to school and then I go to their house and then I pick Dellah up and then I go to their house and then I take the girls home to rest a while and then I got to their house with dinner ingredients and eat at their house....
seriously, Erin...co dependence is ugly.
I tried to post right when I got home from Mexico City which was pretty wonderful actually and then blogger told me that my pictures couldn't be posted and I just got very discouraged and ignored blogger. When you ignore the blog you are only hurting yourself.
This morning and yesterday morning Dellah has screamed at the top of her shrill little voice that I am a 'BAAAD MAMI! UGLY MAMI!' and when I took her to the place of no return for her behavior (time out) she bit my hand...she BIT me!
what the crap?! It's not every day that you live inside a time worn phrase and live to tell the tale...she actually bit the hand that feeds her.
unconscionable
We have atoned for our bad carpet choices when we built this house 1.5 years ago. We now have squishy, squooshy carpet exactly the color of most kinds of dirt and all kinds of poop.
mmmmooooaaahhhhhaahahaha...you will not sully my surroundings, foul dirt...you have met your DuPont smart strand match!
mmmmmm....what else...there's so much stuff it's just too much to tell. I'll have to do installments. Of course I'm at my parent's house right now so I'll write more at my own house where my pictures are on the computer.
At least I've breached that drafty corridor between me and my blog and found the journey shorter and easier than I had worked it up in my mind to be.
current television obsessions: Lipstick Jungle, Project Runway, Top Design, the Rachel Zoe Project
Currently listening to : Lost Songs by David Gray
Currently obsessively consuming: chocolate milk
currently wearing every single day because I am chubby and nothing else fits me : wide legged trousers from gap and some ultra heinous floral shirt from Kohls
Current amount of time I have been trying to have a baby and can't: 10 months
Current amount of cruelness felt from this ultimate joke played on me and my feelings of complete and utter fertility....incalculable
I went to Cindy's last night for a fun little shin-dig...so happy to have seen dear people I looooove.
BLOG UNTIL YOU FEEL LIKE BLOGGING...
I think a prophet said that or something.
My parents live 10 doors down from me now...I can't remember what I used to do and that's probably a problem because I take Dellah to school and then I go to their house and then I pick Dellah up and then I go to their house and then I take the girls home to rest a while and then I got to their house with dinner ingredients and eat at their house....
seriously, Erin...co dependence is ugly.
I tried to post right when I got home from Mexico City which was pretty wonderful actually and then blogger told me that my pictures couldn't be posted and I just got very discouraged and ignored blogger. When you ignore the blog you are only hurting yourself.
This morning and yesterday morning Dellah has screamed at the top of her shrill little voice that I am a 'BAAAD MAMI! UGLY MAMI!' and when I took her to the place of no return for her behavior (time out) she bit my hand...she BIT me!
what the crap?! It's not every day that you live inside a time worn phrase and live to tell the tale...she actually bit the hand that feeds her.
unconscionable
We have atoned for our bad carpet choices when we built this house 1.5 years ago. We now have squishy, squooshy carpet exactly the color of most kinds of dirt and all kinds of poop.
mmmmooooaaahhhhhaahahaha...you will not sully my surroundings, foul dirt...you have met your DuPont smart strand match!
mmmmmm....what else...there's so much stuff it's just too much to tell. I'll have to do installments. Of course I'm at my parent's house right now so I'll write more at my own house where my pictures are on the computer.
At least I've breached that drafty corridor between me and my blog and found the journey shorter and easier than I had worked it up in my mind to be.
current television obsessions: Lipstick Jungle, Project Runway, Top Design, the Rachel Zoe Project
Currently listening to : Lost Songs by David Gray
Currently obsessively consuming: chocolate milk
currently wearing every single day because I am chubby and nothing else fits me : wide legged trousers from gap and some ultra heinous floral shirt from Kohls
Current amount of time I have been trying to have a baby and can't: 10 months
Current amount of cruelness felt from this ultimate joke played on me and my feelings of complete and utter fertility....incalculable
I went to Cindy's last night for a fun little shin-dig...so happy to have seen dear people I looooove.
Tuesday, July 22, 2008
Sunday, July 20, 2008
15,000 heads bobbing
There's this pretty obscure singer called Sting from this little no name band Called the Police that has had some pretty good songs recorded over the years, some of which have changed the course of my actual life... and then
I SAW THEM LAST NIGHT AND ALMOST WET MY PANTS!!!!!!!!!!!
Cindy called last week and told me she had a little ticket just for me so we went and, after Elvis Costello opened, this dude came out and started ringing this giant gong...
and then he was there.
Sting.
Actual Sting.
Actual Sting in a long sleeved translucent black second skin tight t-shirt and 3 days of stubble and his ancient bass.
Actual sting singing actual 'Message in a bottle' and actual 'Roxanne' and actual 'Don't stand so close to me'.
I just kept thinking to myself....I'm here, I'm here, I'm screaming, 'there's a little black spot on the sun today, it's my soul up there'.... WITH STING!
it was definitely not to be rivaled in the near future or recent past....
it's like somebody put Sting in a bottle in 1993 and he looks exactly the same only with more muscles...
I told Cindy...I just hoped he wouldn't disappoint, you know...like we get all the way there and he sounds all old and lame live or something.
yeah.
not so much.
pretty much perfect.
We had such a good time.
Thanks so much Cindy. there's no one with whom I would rather observe overly drunk people and almost run out of gas and eat a 3 foot long bag of kettle corn with than you.
I SAW THEM LAST NIGHT AND ALMOST WET MY PANTS!!!!!!!!!!!
Cindy called last week and told me she had a little ticket just for me so we went and, after Elvis Costello opened, this dude came out and started ringing this giant gong...
and then he was there.
Sting.
Actual Sting.
Actual Sting in a long sleeved translucent black second skin tight t-shirt and 3 days of stubble and his ancient bass.
Actual sting singing actual 'Message in a bottle' and actual 'Roxanne' and actual 'Don't stand so close to me'.
I just kept thinking to myself....I'm here, I'm here, I'm screaming, 'there's a little black spot on the sun today, it's my soul up there'.... WITH STING!
it was definitely not to be rivaled in the near future or recent past....
it's like somebody put Sting in a bottle in 1993 and he looks exactly the same only with more muscles...
I told Cindy...I just hoped he wouldn't disappoint, you know...like we get all the way there and he sounds all old and lame live or something.
yeah.
not so much.
pretty much perfect.
We had such a good time.
Thanks so much Cindy. there's no one with whom I would rather observe overly drunk people and almost run out of gas and eat a 3 foot long bag of kettle corn with than you.
Saturday, July 19, 2008
the eyes have it
ahhh, ocular apparati...don't get me wrong, I'm totally glad I can see, it's just the madness of the whole thing that gets me.
Yesterday I'm standing in line at snoasis (shut up naysayers) and some teenage girl was in line ahead of me with her friend and her brother and she was pretty loud and vocal saying, "OH MY GOODNESS, YOU HAVE THE COOLEST EYES! YOUR EYES ARE AMAZING! LOOK AT HER EYES!"
I'm not one to turn down compliments in any form but this was a smidge embarrassing for some reason. Maybe I thought I liked being the center of attention and I actually don't. Maybe It's just when I'm the center of breaking the sound barrier adolescent attention that gets me.
This past Christmas when I was in the Tabernacle Choir Christmas Concert, people came up to me every day saying, "what's wrong with your eyes? are you alright? have you been crying? I have some visine if you want..."
that pendulum swings and swings people. sometimes you're up, and mostly you're down or falling downward.
I went to the eye doctor this week and was telling him how frustrated I am by the redness of my eyes and the dryness (of my eyes) and the overall wishing I didn't have to be at the eye doctor and that I could have laser surgery already (on my eyes).
After lots of 'which is better, 1 or 2, 2 or 3, 3 or 2...what's the smallest line you can read?', he gave me information I had long suspected and now am positive of....I am a freak.
He's pulls out a pad of pre-printed eyes on paper so he can show me the position of every other human being's eyelids and then tells me, "you see how the lid normally covers a little part of the colored circle on the top and the bottom?....well yours don't...your colored circle is totally all exposed to the air at all times which would definitely cause them to be dryer than normal."
The word normal was used twice in that sentence to describe what I am NOT.
awesome.
question 513 in my life list of questions. "why is it impossible to take a good picture without looking like someone's coming at me on a secluded road at night with their brights on?"
mystery solved.
I can't imagine that there are any of you who have failed to notice this anomaly but feel free to stare next time you see me to gain your own witness.
As if being legally blind and unable to live or function without contacts or glasses wasn't enough...
NOW I'LL NEVER BE A TEEN MODEL!!!
the humanity.
My one consolation is that my offspring seem to have gotten nicely hued eyes minus the side-show factor...Gabriel has just informed me that if he were writing about his eyes he would do it in two words, 'round and brown' and that I seem to be writing an awful lot...he thinks he's such a poet..so funny. hilarious.
men.
So I'm going to Mexico City on Wednesday with my husband who is exceedingly handsome with his new erinsanchezcutsmyhair haircut. He has business for half of one day and then we're staying 5 more days to have a celebration of the fact that we have been married for five years (on the 26th).
My parents who are so nice are coming to take care of the girls and, whereas last year I got all squirmy to leave them when we went to Puerta Vallarta (again for Gabriel's work but pretty convenient for vacating), this year I feel a strong sense of the get on the plane and look forward toward rest and mental health vibe.
I'll say hi to Frida and Diego for you and make a sacrifice at the Aztec temple on your behalf...don't even think I'm joking.
Wednesday, July 09, 2008
the shopping spirit
many times he has led me, many times I have had success...very seldom do I actually achieve shopping nirvana like I did this early afternoon at the Sandy DI.
If you couldn't care less about this you probably shouldn't read on cause that's all I'm going to talk about.
Perhaps I was worthy of my prizes because I had just taken my sullen, bored children to the park like a good mother where they walked around like they had no idea what to do with themselves and all the play equipment and beauty bark. Finally after 40 minutes Dellah said, "mami, why's the park gotta be so hot?". My reply was that there is no roof on the park and the sun can just touch you everywhere. she decided that heat was not conducive to whining at full wattage so we left so she could whine in air conditioned peace about how she smelled like 'sunthing' (screen).
Then we went across 94th south to DI. At first it was like every other time...the attic-y, fluorescent light, children screaming vibe. Then I walked down the toy isle and saw a Fisher Price Little People Tudor style house..hm, ok..I already know the one I played with as a kid is at my parent's house so I just thought i would get it to have one more thing to add to our Ferris wheel, our parking garage and our sesame street clubhouse (all vintage fisher price) We don't however have any of the little round bodied folks that go in the toys or any of the cars for the garage but the girls like putting other stuff around to play with them...
then what to my wondering eyes should appear but a piece of clear packing tape from the front to the rear (of the little Tudor house). and what was that tape holding the house together for? you ask...
oh, I don't know, MAYBE A GALLON SIZED ZIPLOC BAG OF LITTLE PEOPLE AND CARS AND HOME FURNISHINGS!!!!
YEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSS.
i don't know if you've ever looked on e-bay or in stores for little people toys but they are weirdly expensive and you can hardly find the people....and here they were...in all their plastic no arms, no legs glory inside the Tudor house for $3.
I will let that sink in.
three dollars.
the price of a large snoasis with extra cream.
12 quarters.
I have looked for 4 years and here they are.
feelings like this seldom come but they are so so energizing.
Then I proceeded over to the clothes where I found (among other, less illustrious finds) a $2 Catimini Dress that is brand new and a $3 juicy couture hoodie for Dellah that is also not even used..
Look it up if you wonder what the big deal is about that...just look it up.
So, then, people, I went to get a large coconut snoasis with extra cream and my girls got their xs snoasises and we came home at 1pm.
It is now 2:28 in the afternoon (two minutes before quiet time) and my girls have been playing downstairs with their little people and all their accouterments and locations FOR AN HOUR AND A HALF!
THANK YOU SHOPPING SPIRIT!** no, seriously, thank you so much. seriously.
**( i mean no disrespect to actual Deity as i know a real shopping spirit cannot exist in the realm of Mormon theology, nor does the actual Spirit of Mormon theology participate in shopping excursions. but, I think in ancient Egypt they could have wrangled up a creature to represent uncanny consumer experiences, therefore my tongue is in my cheek and I am not unbelieving, inactive, blasphemous or lightminded, ok? ok.)
!viva el espiritu de compras!!! ai, yai,yai,yai!
If you couldn't care less about this you probably shouldn't read on cause that's all I'm going to talk about.
Perhaps I was worthy of my prizes because I had just taken my sullen, bored children to the park like a good mother where they walked around like they had no idea what to do with themselves and all the play equipment and beauty bark. Finally after 40 minutes Dellah said, "mami, why's the park gotta be so hot?". My reply was that there is no roof on the park and the sun can just touch you everywhere. she decided that heat was not conducive to whining at full wattage so we left so she could whine in air conditioned peace about how she smelled like 'sunthing' (screen).
Then we went across 94th south to DI. At first it was like every other time...the attic-y, fluorescent light, children screaming vibe. Then I walked down the toy isle and saw a Fisher Price Little People Tudor style house..hm, ok..I already know the one I played with as a kid is at my parent's house so I just thought i would get it to have one more thing to add to our Ferris wheel, our parking garage and our sesame street clubhouse (all vintage fisher price) We don't however have any of the little round bodied folks that go in the toys or any of the cars for the garage but the girls like putting other stuff around to play with them...
then what to my wondering eyes should appear but a piece of clear packing tape from the front to the rear (of the little Tudor house). and what was that tape holding the house together for? you ask...
oh, I don't know, MAYBE A GALLON SIZED ZIPLOC BAG OF LITTLE PEOPLE AND CARS AND HOME FURNISHINGS!!!!
YEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSS.
i don't know if you've ever looked on e-bay or in stores for little people toys but they are weirdly expensive and you can hardly find the people....and here they were...in all their plastic no arms, no legs glory inside the Tudor house for $3.
I will let that sink in.
three dollars.
the price of a large snoasis with extra cream.
12 quarters.
I have looked for 4 years and here they are.
feelings like this seldom come but they are so so energizing.
Then I proceeded over to the clothes where I found (among other, less illustrious finds) a $2 Catimini Dress that is brand new and a $3 juicy couture hoodie for Dellah that is also not even used..
Look it up if you wonder what the big deal is about that...just look it up.
So, then, people, I went to get a large coconut snoasis with extra cream and my girls got their xs snoasises and we came home at 1pm.
It is now 2:28 in the afternoon (two minutes before quiet time) and my girls have been playing downstairs with their little people and all their accouterments and locations FOR AN HOUR AND A HALF!
THANK YOU SHOPPING SPIRIT!** no, seriously, thank you so much. seriously.
**( i mean no disrespect to actual Deity as i know a real shopping spirit cannot exist in the realm of Mormon theology, nor does the actual Spirit of Mormon theology participate in shopping excursions. but, I think in ancient Egypt they could have wrangled up a creature to represent uncanny consumer experiences, therefore my tongue is in my cheek and I am not unbelieving, inactive, blasphemous or lightminded, ok? ok.)
!viva el espiritu de compras!!! ai, yai,yai,yai!
Tuesday, July 01, 2008
That fresh feeling...
You know that song by the eels, 'fresh feeling'? I'm minorly addicted to that song at this moment and also Leona Lewis. Ruby's always saying, 'mami, I wan beeting lub'
I put on 'bleeding love' and then when it's over we repeat it 47 times until I'm allowed to listen to the fresh feeling song again. The other song my girls like is 'irreplaceable' by Beyonce. I have to say that watching very very small people sing, 'you must not know 'bout me, you must not know 'bout me, I could have another you in a minute, matter fact, he'll be here in a minute, baby' at the top of their lungs is at once disturbing an hilarious. You know what? They'll be fine. At least it's not that one week where they were hooked on All American Rejects, 'I'll keep you my dirty little secret' and Dellah sang it in Sacrament meeting...
It's one of those times when it's been so long since I've written I might as well just ignore following up on any of the past and start with a fresh feeling as it were.
that said, I should say we haven't heard back from the neurologist about Ruby's test and my in-laws are leaving in 6 days and coming back here for two of those bringing our grand total up to 29 days of them in my house....There are so many bricks in my mansion in heaven by now I could probably move right in...or maybe there are just holes in my tongue from biting it for 2 months.
what EVER!!!!!
moving on to blatant and shameless consumerism:
yesterday I went to target and spent some ridiculous sum of money on whatever the blank I felt like buying. I mean I bought necklaces and earrings and ribbon and cool buttons to make little girl hair clips out of and Boggle and Sorry and an eco-friendly un-lined journal printed on recycled paper and illustrated with vegetable dyes and etcetera and so forth. Before that I went to DSW and bought some chocolate brown above the ankle Michael Khors riding boots for 80% off of $168. After that we met Gabriel at Noodles and Company and ate pasta and After that I went to Snoasis and got a large coconut with extra cream and ate it and ate it and ate it some more.
I have to say that there is a strange feeling that the actual universe owes me something lately. I'm not proud of it but I just think, 'There are 7 or 9 things about my life right now that totally suck and I'm doing my best and I'm pretty sure I deserve material possessions which I will never be able to take to Heaven if I make it so I'm just going to recognize myself for all of my efforts to keep it together.
Is that spoiled and entitled enough for everyone?
OK, moving on.
We have this big hardbound Disney princess treasury in Spanish that Ruby carries around like it doesn't weigh 5 pounds by the front cover and throws it off of high places to watch it splat on the floor. I got out my glue gun (which I had never opened in 3 years) on Sunday night to fix the cover of that poor book which had given up and fallen away from the pages and the cover of my 'Memoirs of Cleopatra' by Margaret George and then I thought to myself, "why don't I just fix that one hair clip while I'm at it?"
That was all it took. Erin-obsessively-find-something-basically-useless-to-expend-most-of-your-energy-and-time-on Sanchez was then enlisted in the making of hair clips for my children. I had a box of metal clips from Sally's and there was just no end to the things I was gluing to those poor clips. How liberating to put clothes on your child and think, "I don't have a hair accessory to match this" and then think, "stop the press! LET'S JUST MAKE ONE!" Now if only my hair didn't look like I have a penchant for denim jumpers and square toed pumps.
That about sums up my weekend.
I'm back.
I put on 'bleeding love' and then when it's over we repeat it 47 times until I'm allowed to listen to the fresh feeling song again. The other song my girls like is 'irreplaceable' by Beyonce. I have to say that watching very very small people sing, 'you must not know 'bout me, you must not know 'bout me, I could have another you in a minute, matter fact, he'll be here in a minute, baby' at the top of their lungs is at once disturbing an hilarious. You know what? They'll be fine. At least it's not that one week where they were hooked on All American Rejects, 'I'll keep you my dirty little secret' and Dellah sang it in Sacrament meeting...
It's one of those times when it's been so long since I've written I might as well just ignore following up on any of the past and start with a fresh feeling as it were.
that said, I should say we haven't heard back from the neurologist about Ruby's test and my in-laws are leaving in 6 days and coming back here for two of those bringing our grand total up to 29 days of them in my house....There are so many bricks in my mansion in heaven by now I could probably move right in...or maybe there are just holes in my tongue from biting it for 2 months.
what EVER!!!!!
moving on to blatant and shameless consumerism:
yesterday I went to target and spent some ridiculous sum of money on whatever the blank I felt like buying. I mean I bought necklaces and earrings and ribbon and cool buttons to make little girl hair clips out of and Boggle and Sorry and an eco-friendly un-lined journal printed on recycled paper and illustrated with vegetable dyes and etcetera and so forth. Before that I went to DSW and bought some chocolate brown above the ankle Michael Khors riding boots for 80% off of $168. After that we met Gabriel at Noodles and Company and ate pasta and After that I went to Snoasis and got a large coconut with extra cream and ate it and ate it and ate it some more.
I have to say that there is a strange feeling that the actual universe owes me something lately. I'm not proud of it but I just think, 'There are 7 or 9 things about my life right now that totally suck and I'm doing my best and I'm pretty sure I deserve material possessions which I will never be able to take to Heaven if I make it so I'm just going to recognize myself for all of my efforts to keep it together.
Is that spoiled and entitled enough for everyone?
OK, moving on.
We have this big hardbound Disney princess treasury in Spanish that Ruby carries around like it doesn't weigh 5 pounds by the front cover and throws it off of high places to watch it splat on the floor. I got out my glue gun (which I had never opened in 3 years) on Sunday night to fix the cover of that poor book which had given up and fallen away from the pages and the cover of my 'Memoirs of Cleopatra' by Margaret George and then I thought to myself, "why don't I just fix that one hair clip while I'm at it?"
That was all it took. Erin-obsessively-find-something-basically-useless-to-expend-most-of-your-energy-and-time-on Sanchez was then enlisted in the making of hair clips for my children. I had a box of metal clips from Sally's and there was just no end to the things I was gluing to those poor clips. How liberating to put clothes on your child and think, "I don't have a hair accessory to match this" and then think, "stop the press! LET'S JUST MAKE ONE!" Now if only my hair didn't look like I have a penchant for denim jumpers and square toed pumps.
That about sums up my weekend.
I'm back.
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